The Broken
by RBTL
Summary: Baron Remus J. Lupin has lived a difficult life. He guards his secrets zealously, but when he stumbles upon an equally secretive violinist named Severus Snape, he begins to wonder if he's found someone to share his secrets with. Lupin/Snape, complete
1. The Debutante's Ball

Music filtered through the manor, greeting guests as they entered. Remus found himself being beckoned inside by the high, mournful notes of a violin. He nodded to the butler and handed off his cloak to his manservant. It was more than a little rude to enter the ballroom with hardly a nod to the host and hostess, but for once he couldn't care less.

Propriety be damned, he had to know where the music was coming from. He edged along the dance floor, avoiding both the dancers and the observers, and headed toward the stage, a small raised platform, where the musicians for the evening sat.

There was a piano, a clarinet, and a violin, and the notes of the three instruments seemed utterly intertwined. As Remus watched them play, he saw that the beauty of the music could all be attributed to the violin player. The man slowed and hastened his own playing to match it to the others, playing softly at moments when the others were more powerful and loudly when they were quiet. The music flowed through the crowd, infecting them with the urge to dance. Remus had never seen a group of dancers enjoy themselves more.

The music was a waltz, by Chopin, Remus thought, though the tempo was just a tad bit faster than was perhaps normal. The men and women on the dance floor hardly seemed to notice, but he could tell from the flushed cheeks and broad smiles that they were enjoying the quick pace of the dancing.

It was all due to the violinist. The trills of his violin pulled the rest of the room into his music and then swept them along on the song. Remus watched him push and pull the bow over the string as his fingers danced along the neck, nimble and graceful.

The long fingers captivated him, but not as much as the violinist's face. The man was fully involved in the music, his eyes closed, one foot silently tapping out the beat. His hair, long and black, was pulled back from his face and tied with a ribbon at the nape of his neck, and the man paid no attention to it as he played. Remus was amused as he watched it flip and flop all over the place at the violinist's harsh movements. The man seemed not to care about his appearance but only about the entrancing music pouring from his violin.

As the song ended, the violinist's movements slowed until no more notes echoed in the room. Only then did his eyes open. Remus found himself staring into them, fascinated by the utter darkness in them. The man gazed at him in return for mere seconds before shuttering his eyes and turning away. Remus was shaken by how the man's glance had affected him, making his breathing stutter and his hands tremble.

He moved away from the platform, anxious to escape before anyone could see how the musician had captivated him. It was dangerous to pay too much attention to a man. Homosexuality was a curse, a perversion, a reason to die. Remus didn't dare open himself up to accusations about his preferences—he had too many other things to hide as well.

Glancing around the room, he spotted Pansy Parkinson, one of last year's debutantes, staring longingly at the dance floor. Remus headed in her direction, partially out of pity for her, but mostly for his own benefit. What better way to hide one's proclivities towards men than by dancing with a woman? He pasted a smile on his face as he grew closer to the homely young lady.

The smile she offered him in return made her pug-like nose crinkle. Remus really did feel sorry for the young girl. She had been out for a year, but the gossip amongst the ton was that not a single man had shown any interest in her. Her sharp tongue didn't ease the way for her to meet people either.

Remus bowed to her. "Shall I have the honour of dancing this set with you?" he asked, presenting his hand.

Miss Parkinson nodded and took it softly, her white kid glove brushing over Remus's calluses. He led her to the dance floor, pulling her into position near three other couples just as a quadrille began. Remus could hear the violin above the other instruments again, its notes twining around the spinning dancers and twirling them ever faster.

Following the head couple, he danced carefully with small steps to match his partner. He kept his eyes on Miss Parkinson and the dancers around them, refusing to allow himself even a glance towards the musicians. They danced in silence for a few moments until Miss Parkinson leaned towards him and whispered, "You seem terribly distracted; I am afraid you shall trod on my feet is you do not pay more attention to me."

Remus laughed lightly at her jibe, knowing she expected him to be offended by her mention of her lower limbs. "Fear not, my lady, for I am quite fleet-footed. I shall do my best to offer my attention to you though, rather than focusing on the beautiful music."

They stepped around and then moved back together, continuously circling about their part of the dance floor. "The music is extraordinary, is it not?" she murmured when they were near enough to speak. The steps of the dance sent her whirling away seconds later, saving Remus from having to voice his opinion on the music... and the musicians.

"Elizabeth Rede informed me that her father hired the pianist and clarinettist for tonight, and it cost her father more for the two of them than all of the food."

Remus felt his eyebrows raise of his own accord and Miss Parkinson shot him a saucy smirk.

"It is, of course, low-brow to discuss money in public. You'll have to forgive me, Lord Shrieking. My mother despairs of ever taming my tongue." She paused only momentarily. "Still, I find that those topics which I am not to discuss are often the most interesting ones. Wouldn't you agree, my lord?"

Remus clasped her hand and squeezed it gently enough that those watching would not see it but that Miss Parkinson would understand he did not fault her for her words. "I would indeed, though not in the presence of Lady Parkinson. Your mother is a most formidable woman."

Miss Parkinson burst into raucous laughter, startling the couples around them and earning herself a sharp glance from the aforementioned Lady Parkinson. It took three turns about their section of the dance floor before she could calm down.

"My lord, that is an understatement if I've ever heard one!" she exclaimed. Breathing harshly for a moment, she brought herself back under control. "Still, we'd best turn our conversation to a different topic. My mother has ears like a hawk, and I'd do well not to irritate her. She is already quite irked that I turned Sir Vincent Crabbe's offer to dance earlier this evening." She snorted, a terribly unladylike sound that suited her. "As if I would dance with that buffoon. He'd like as not trip the both of us in the middle of the Grand March."

Remus watched the young girl flush with anger. The strong emotion brightened her eyes and warmed her cheeks, making her look quite attractive. It was a pity that such emotions were considered unfeminine—Miss Parkinson's true beauty would never be allowed to be seen in polite society. She'd likely spend much of her time as an unmarried woman on the sidelines as a wallflower.

"I do not believe that is the most prudent topic to discuss, my dear," he whispered quietly in her ear, wanting to save her from possible embarrassment if her mother caught wind of her speech.

She blinked at the reprimand and then nodded. "Of, course, my lord. My mouth does tend to run away with itself. Perhaps... the music then, since you spoke of it."

Remus wished he had not spoken. It was too bad the girl cared nothing for society's rules or he could silence her with a reminder that conversations should not be held on the dance floor. Instead, he offered little of his own opinions to the conversation, asking her, "What of the music?"

"Why, the utter pull of it! I've never heard such wondrous music in my life. I do imagine that Sir Thomas Rede's money was well spent on the musicians."

Remus nodded in agreement. "And which of the instruments do you prefer?" he asked softly, hoping she would pick the right one.

She did as he hoped. "I must say that I'm quite in love with the violin. I attempted to play it once and could wrench only the most annoying sounds out of it. I'm quite jealous of that man's talent with it; though I'm not envious of his hair. My God, I've never seen such a greasy mess in my life."

Remus started and almost turned to look at the violinist. He had not noticed his hair beyond its involvement in his body's movement; he had been far too captivated by his music and then his eyes to see much else. He covered his interest with a nonchalant, "He is quite good."

"He's more than just good. He's amazing. Miss Rede told me that he's been with Sir Thomas's estate since before she was born, and that her father has not had him play at a ball in almost fifteen years. She believes it was because her father was saving him for her coming out ball. He has played for private parties here on the estate though. He is even better as a soloist; he played Vivaldi's Spring, from the Four Seasons, at a high tea Miss Rede put on this winter and it was easily the best music I've heard in ages." Miss Parkinson gave a put upon sigh. "My mother is glaring at me for talking too much. Nevertheless, it's her fault that I'm the way I am. I've never been the most attractive girl. She thought that by dragging me to the theatre and orchestra she would make me an intelligent and docile wife for some old widower who wouldn't care if I was ugly as long as I could mind his children. She never realised that intelligence would only tempt me to learn more and speak about taboo topics." Her eyes glittered. "You mustn't tell anyone, but I've even been to a women's suffrage meeting. My mother would kill me if she knew!"

Remus laughed aloud, though nowhere near as loudly as Miss Parkinson had earlier. The song ended and he walked her slowly back to where her mother stood glowering. "I won't tell. Do try to temper your tongue though. Your mother would have the vapours if she knew what you'd told me."

She frowned but bit back a response as he returned her to her mother. He bowed deeply and she offered him a curtsy in return. "Thank you for the dance, Miss Parkinson."

"Likewise, I thank you, Lord Shrieking. If it pleases you, do let us dance again. I'd like to continue our conversation." The sparkle in her eyes told Remus that she knew she was not supposed to be so forward as to ask a man for another dance and that she had done it to irritate her mother. He suppressed a grin.

Remus nodded his head and then backed away as Lady Parkinson began to berate her daughter for a lack of manners. He had enjoyed his dance with the young woman, but he would not dance with her again that night. He dare not give her or her mother the idea that he might be interested in courting her. Instead, he made his way around the room, dancing with as many women as he could, especially the widows and young wallflowers. He didn't learn anything else that night about the violinist, as the other women he danced with were well versed in society's requirements and they did not attempt to talk as they danced.

Nevertheless, he was very interested in learning more about the man, and he determined to visit the Rede estate later that week and thank them for the invitation to the ball. It would be a good excuse to inquire after the violinist and perhaps contract him for a ball or two of his own.

* * *

Indeed, Remus did visit only three days later. He handed his calling card, which had his full title—Lord Remus John Lupin, Baron of Shrieking—on it, to the butler and was quickly shown into Sir Thomas Rede's study. The Baronet stood as he entered, offering his hand.

"Lord Shrieking, how nice to see you. May I enquire as to the purpose of this visit?" The older man's hand gripped Remus's hand hard, and his eyes were flinty. Remus knew Rede hated that Remus was twenty years his junior and yet he was a Baron whereas Rede was a mere Baronet.

"I just dropped by to thank you for the invitation to your daughter's debutante ball, Sir Thomas. It was truly lovely." Remus couldn't help by emphasise their difference in status by addressing him as Sir Thomas, and he knew it would upset the man.

He was right. The man flushed a mottled puce, which contrasted badly with his foppish blond hair that was beginning to gray.

"Of course, my lord. My lady and I were grateful for your presence." Rede was smiling but his teeth were clenched.

They spent a few minutes making small talk about Parliament and the recent changes in the economy. Rede was looking a bit antsy, so Remus decided to try to move on to what he cared about. Remus was afraid he would regret having upset Rede when he brought up his real purpose for visiting. "I really enjoyed your ball tremendously. The music was especially wonderful. May I ask how I can contract the musicians for my own balls this season?"

Rede smiled darkly. "I'll write down the addresses at which the pianist and clarinettist can be reached. The violinist, however, is a member of my own estate, as he owes me a debt, which he is paying off through labour."

"Is that so? Well, he is an asset to you then. He was easily the most talented of the three." Remus thought quickly, hoping to find a way to gain contact with the man. "Would it be possible for me to hire him as well?"

Rede shook his head. "I am afraid not. I've planned to use him at my other balls this season. I simply cannot offer him to you."

"I'd pay you enough that you could hire someone else," said Remus. He knew he sounded anxious, but he didn't care. Something about the violinist entranced him and he wanted the chance to get closer to him.

Rede seemed as though he were contemplating the offer, but Remus tried not to get his hopes up. Sure enough, Rede refused.

"I don't need money, I'm afraid. My daughter grew up listening to his music, and I'd always planned for him to play for her debutante balls."

Remus saw an "in" then. Rede would happily give up his musician if it meant gaining something very important... such as connections for his daughter.

"I do understand, really, but I find myself enthralled by the sounds he creates. I know that money is worth little to you. Perhaps a trade would be more in order?"

Rede visibly perked up. "What kind of trade?"

Remus fought a grin. He had him. "My manservant plays the piano, flute, and clarinet extraordinarily well. I've had him tutored in instruments since he was a young boy as a favour to his father, my estate manager. He would present a good image to the guests at your balls, I promise."

Rede frowned. "It would be nice to have a larger variety of music, which his skills would afford me..."

"I would also, of course, offer your family a standing invitation to all of my balls and dances this season, since your musician would be the one playing for them."

"Will you be having many balls this season, my lord?"

Rede's eyes were glittering with greed. Remus had many friends in high places who often attended his events. Miss Rede would be able to meet many men who were titled, and Rede would have a chance to secure a prominent husband for his daughter. Remus had known Thomas Rede for years, and the man never passed up the chance to secure for himself a higher social standing.

"I'm planning on this being a busy season. This is the ten-year anniversary of my mother's death, and she always loved balls. Filling Shrieking Manor with gaiety will be a tribute to her memory." It was the truth, and it worked well for Remus's purposes. He didn't think it would matter to Rede, but he said, "That's why I want to contract your violinist. The violin was always my mother's favourite instrument."

Rede ran his hand through his hair. "Your mother was a gentlewoman, God rest her soul." Remus lowered his head as if saddened to remember her passing, but it was really to hide a frown. Rede, barely out of mourning for his first wife's death in childbirth, had attempted to court the Dowager Lady Shrieking a mere week after she stopped wearing her widow's weeds. His mother had been a gentlewoman, but she had still cursed the man many times over for his callous actions.

"I'll gladly lend you my musician in return for yours," Rede continued. "There's is, of course, the matter of a contract."

Remus rolled his eyes before he raised his head again. "I'd be happy to sign one. Do you have time to write it up now?"

"Yes, yes." Rede had already placed a sheet of paper on the desk before him. "I'll just make this short..."

Rede scribbled down the terms of the deal and handed it to Remus to read. He corrected a few things, and when they had both agreed upon the terms and signed two identical copies of it, they stood and shook hands.

"I'm glad that I was able to visit today, Sir Thomas. I do believe that everything should work out wonderfully."

Rede agreed and escorted him to the door, where Remus's carriage stood waiting. "When can I expect your manservant to arrive?"

"I'll send him along as soon as he's packed, no more than a day or two from now." Remus took his coat from the butler. "Good day, sir."

"Good day, my lord," replied Rede as Remus stepped out of the door.

Remus was halfway down the steps before a thought occurred to him. He turned halfway around till he could see the door. "Sir Thomas, I didn't think to inquire before, but what is your violinist's name?"

Rede's answer sounded dark and mysterious, like the violinist himself.

"Severus Snape."


	2. The Musician

Severus stared across the bed at the wall. It was hard to pretend it wasn't happening when it was, but he was used to it by now. It was easy for him to close his eyes and let the music in his head envelop him. Rede moved above him, his body rocking into Severus's and slamming him into the bed over and over. The man cared nothing for Severus's own pleasure or pain and pushed into him fast and hard.

Severus closed his eyes, the flowers in the wallpaper the last thing he saw before he was surrounded by darkness. A whisper of a song drifted past and he grasped it, drowning himself in Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. The lonely introduction pulled him away from the bedroom and into a peaceful world far removed from his own.

He remained into that world until a familiar grunt told him Rede had just finished. Severus was yanked back to the real world when Rede collapsed on top of him. The man tried to bury his nose in Severus's hair and then stopped.

"Snape, your hair is disgusting! What is in it?"

Severus had covered the dark strands in animal fat the cook Molly Weasley had given him, but he didn't dare tell Rede that. "'Tis nothing, master. I haven't washed it in a few days, is all." Not washing it had been purposeful, an attempt to keep the man from holding Severus close after he'd used him. Severus could escape into his music during the act itself, but the moments spent in the man's arms when he was being gentle were the worst ones. When he was younger Rede had forcibly brought him off as well, but thankfully, the man no longer bothered with that.

"Well, wash it tonight. You're going to the Shrieking estate in a few days, and I don't want him sending you back because you are unclean. I'm getting too much out of this deal." Rede rolled out of the bed, grunting when his feet hit the floor. "You'd better start packing."

This was the first time Severus had heard anything about leaving the manor. "Master, why I'm being sent there?" He sat up gingerly and found the pain was less than normal. He sighed and rose to his feet, dragging his clothes back on over his sore body.

"Lord Shrieking has decided that he wants you to play for him this season and is trading me his own estate musician in return." Rede was wearing his dressing gown when Severus turned around to him. "And fix your damn hair. You know better than to leave here looking like that."

Severus nodded and smoothed down his slimy hair, grimacing inwardly at the feel of it. "Yes, master."

Rede waved his hand toward the door. "Go on then. I'm done with you. Get packed quickly—you are returning to Shrieking's estate on the carriage that's dropping off his man tomorrow."

Severus bowed deeply and exited the room, closing the door softly behind him. As soon as it was shut he messed his hair up. Let the man be caught. Death was not the worst thing that could happen to Severus, and it would only serve Rede right.

He walked sedately to his room in the servants' wing, nodding at George Weasley as he passed him. The young man smiled at him, but it was a broken grimace more than anything. He'd never gotten over the death of his brother.

Once he had reached his room, Severus stripped off his clothing and stepped into the tub of warm water waiting for him, probably by Mrs. Weasley. Molly was a good woman who cared too much for her own well-being. It was a wonder she wasn't dead along with her boy.

He luxuriated in the water, using the bar of soap on his nightstand to wash out the grease. He was glad it had worked to keep Rede away, but he wouldn't be able to do it often. Thankfully, he would have an entire ball season before he would have to submit himself to the man again.

It was idiotic to dream of things that could never be, but Severus found himself imagining the estate of Lord Shrieking. He hadn't been off Rede's land in years, so he had no idea what the nearby estate would look like. One of Molly's children, her only girl, worked in the manor house over there. The girl had visited a few times since her move and seemed pleased with the master of the house. Molly was just grateful that her daughter was out of Rede's reach. Molly had squealed loudly when her daughter brought home the news that she'd gotten the job and kissed everyone in the kitchen, which had unfortunately included Severus. Still, he couldn't fault her. If he had a chance to escape, he would take it.

Perhaps this would be his chance. Even if his escape would only last for a few months, it would be nice to be free of the expectations to join his master in bed. Lord Shrieking was a quiet Baron whom Severus had heard little of, so he had no idea what to expect of the man. Even if he required Severus to play every day it wouldn't matter—Severus would do most anything to play anyway. Music was his escape.

The water was growing cold, and Severus was growing tired. He hoisted himself out of the tub, shivering in the cold room. April was still a bit chilly, especially at night, but Rede refused to let the servants have fires past the end of February. Severus pulled on some long underwear and then his clothing, so that he could take the tub outside to dump it.

Percy Weasley was about to enter his room across the hall from Severus's just as he exited. "Can I help you with that?" he asked.

Severus's arms were already aching and his body was feeling the pain of Rede's rough treatment. "Thank you," he said. Taking the help of someone was wounding to his pride, but he didn't want to hurt himself or spill the water.

Percy grasped one of the handles on the tin tub, holding it steady while Severus grasped the other. "I overheard Rede speaking with Lord Shrieking earlier. You'll be going to the Lord's manor for the rest of the season." He shot a glance at Severus over the dirty water. "Did you know?"

Severus nodded stiffly. "The master told me a little while ago."

Percy looked away. "Is it wrong of me to wish you weren't going?"

With Severus gone, the person Rede would call to his bed would probably be Percy. "It's not wrong. It's human, I suppose."

They reached the door to the outside and Percy manoeuvred it open. They poured out the water into a flowerbed in silence and were back inside of the manor before Percy spoke. "I don't want him to call for me, but I hate to wish it on another person. He hasn't tried to touch George, not since Fred... not since Fred. Bill and Charlie are gone now. It'd likely be Ron he calls, and I'd rather face it myself than let him touch my baby brother."

Severus shrugged. "He's not much of a baby at sixteen. Rede's taken them much younger than that before."

Percy snarled. "Shut up! I won't... I won't let him have Ron, not if I have to ship him to America to keep him safe. Even starving in Ireland would be better than being in that monster's bed!"

A ragged laugh escaped Severus's lips. He was glad he wasn't the only one who thought death would be better than life in this house.

Percy whirled towards him. "How can you think that's funny?" he asked.

"It's not, and that's the funny part." Severus opened his door. "Thank you for your help, Mr. Weasley. Sleep well."

Percy snorted and opened his own door. "As if I could sleep well when he might call for me at any minute." His door slammed shut before Severus could answer, not that there was any real answer for something like that.

Severus stepped inside of his room and shut the door firmly behind him. There was no lock on the door; Rede did not allow them. He stripped off his clothing, but left his long underwear on, and slipped on a nightshirt. Lighting a candle, he set it next to his music stand and removed his violin from its case. Ever since he was little, Severus had played a song before bed, just as his mother had. His lullabies had been played on the very instrument he held. He smoothed his hand over the neck and plucked a few strings. The D string was a little loose, so he twisted its peg to tighten it and bring the instrument into tune. Once that was done, he shuffled through his sheet music and pulled out Mozart's Violin Sonata No. 21. The music was well worn and Severus didn't actually need it, but the feel of it in his hands brought back memories of his mother attempting to teach him to read the notes on the staff.

He placed the music on the stand and settled the violin under his chin. The groove fit him perfectly, a testament to how often the instrument was used. He ran the bow across the strings a few times, making sure the instrument was in proper condition, and then he launched into the song with a vengeance.

That had been the song his mother played when she was angry and did not want others to know. He could remember her playing it on the nights when his father did not come home from the pub or during the days they spent huddled in a small inn, playing for food and shelter in the inn's barn. The money listeners paid them always went to his father's drinks, never to a warm bed inside the inn itself, but the innkeepers were sometimes kind enough to offer them a place by the fire in the kitchen instead of in the hay with the animals.

He let his anger flow through the strings. It was a sad piece, and not an angry one, and that was what made it perfect. His mother had hidden her rage in the bittersweet notes, and Severus hid his fury in them too. He knew the others in this wing of the manor could hear the song. They would think him broken and bitter, but he wasn't. He could care less what they thought. He was strong and his mother's memory strengthened him further.

The bow continued to dance over the strings, Severus's anger pushing it along. He could feel the music begin to speed up as his thoughts grew more enraged, but he slowed his breathing and the bow. Towards the end of the song, he let his bow grow slower and slower until the last note rang across the room. As it faded away, so too did his rage.

He sighed and returned the violin and the music to their places. He supposed it was rather rude to play the instrument so late at night, as it was not known for its softness, but no one had ever complained, so he continued. Perhaps they enjoyed the music, perhaps they hated the noise, Severus might never know.

Standing and stretching, Severus remembered Rede's admonishment to pack up that night. He looked around the room. Aside from his clothing and violin, there wasn't much to take. His mother's shawl and his father's family bible were all that were left of his memories.

He crawled into bed, determining that he would pack in the morning.

* * *

Severus stepped out of the carriage and was directed to the front door by the driver, a mere child.

"You're to report to Mrs. Longbottom in the kitchen, sir. Hurry or she'll snap your head off and serve it for supper!" The boy chortled so hard his cap fell off the messy black hair it rested on. "I'm kidding, of course."

Severus glared at him. "I'd assumed."

The boy rolled his eyes and snapped the reigns. Severus supposed he had meant to mutter "greasy git" under his breath, but it came out loud and clear. He struggled to remember what the boy had introduced himself as. First name evading him, Severus snapped, "I heard that, Mr. Potter!"

The boy's peals of laughter filled the air, and Severus stomped off toward the main building. The door to the kitchen was easy to find—it was propped wide open and the smell of a stew floated through the air. The woman he assumed to be Mrs. Longbottom stood before the stove, stirring the stew with a long wooden spoon.

"Good day, ma'am," he greeted her, carefully laying his things far away from the splattering stove.

She looked him up and down, her sharp nose one to rival his own. "You're the violinist then?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Very well. You are to report to the east wing, second floor, third door from the end on the left." She pointed towards a door on the opposite side of the kitchen. "Well, off you go!"

Severus stared at her for a moment, and then shook his head disbelievingly. "I'm sorry, ma'am, but could you repeat your directions?"

She snorted. "Aye, and the master'd said you were a smart one. Neville!"

Severus wasn't sure what a neville was, but she looked around as though expecting it to show up.

"Neville!" she shouted again, quite loudly. Moments later a clatter sounded in the next room. "You better not have broken that, boy!"

A rotund young man entered the room, his cheeks flushed red. "Sorry, Gran. I knocked over the silver again."

The cook huffed. "Then you can be the one to shine it next."

The boy, whose name was evidently Neville, nodded. "Yes, Gran."

"Now then, this is the violinist Lord Shrieking said he'd hired. You're to take him up to the room Draco usually keeps."

Neville cocked his head. "He's not to sleep in the servants wing?"

Mrs. Longbottom pulled her spoon from the stew and pointed it at Neville. "What have I told you about questioning the master?"

Neville's eyes grew round. "Yes, ma'am. Sorry, ma'am. I'll do it right now, ma'am." He grabbed Severus's bag before he could protest and almost snatched up the violin case too, but Severus picked it up before he could. "Follow me, please, sir!"

They passed through a small dining room, which had silverware all over the floor, and into a hallway. They walked up what appeared to be a back staircase. Neville jabbered nervously as they went.

"These here are the old master and mistress's rooms, though they aren't being used right now. Our current master is still in mourning, my Gran says, and so he sleeps down this hall here. His rooms are here at the very end of the hall, and your room is right next to his." Neville stopped before a door next to a rather scandalous painting of a group of half naked water nymphs. "This is usually Draco's room because he's the lord's manservant. While he's away, I'm to take over his duties. I'm not sure why the lord gave you these rooms, but, um, Draco tends to be a bit messy, so his stuff is likely to be all over the place. My job is normally to help my wife clean the rooms in the manor, and I tend to Draco's for him, but I haven't been in yet today." He pushed the door open to betray a sumptuous interior.

Severus glanced between the boy and the room for a moment, his mind reeling. He was being given a nicer room than even Rede's rooms were. The pathetic boy next to him actually had a wife. The master was sleeping but a room from his. This place seemed odder by the second.

"Is there else anything I need to know?" he barked at the boy.

He jumped to attention. "N—No, sir!"

"Then will you take me to Lord Shrieking? I'd like to make his acquaintance."

Neville shook his head. "I'm sorry, sir. The lord is away right now."

Severus frowned. "When will he return?"

"Within three days," said Neville.

Severus's frown deepened. "Very well. I will... spend the time practicing, unless he has left me instructions."

"No, sir. All he said is that we are to welcome you and show you about the estate."

How could he not have left directions? Even when Rede didn't have Severus playing he had him practicing or working around the manor with the rest of the servants. "Very well. What time will dinner be served?"

"Half past six, sir." Neville paused and added. "We take it in the small dining room."

Severus blinked rapidly. Servants eating outside of the kitchen? The master of this house was strange indeed. Severus couldn't decide whether he wanted to meet the man or not. Sometimes different was good... and sometimes it was very, very bad.

He waved his hand as the boy, then realised he was echoing Rede's motions to him and stopped. "I'll be down for dinner then," he said softly.

The boy bowed quickly, startling Severus, and then rushed off. Severus watched until he rounded the corner and then entered his room. There was actual carpet on the floor, not merely a small rug but wall-to-wall carpeting, and at least three pillows on the bed, which was twice the size of his own. Testing the pillows, he found they were stuffed with goose down.

The room itself wasn't as messy as Neville had made it out to be. There were a few items on the nightstand and the door of the wardrobe stood open, but Severus tidied it up quickly and placed his own things in an empty drawer in the dresser. Peeking through the other man's things, he found silk garments and a velvet robe. He sank onto the edge of the bed. If the things had belonged to a woman, he would have assumed he had been taken to the mistress of the house's bedroom on accident. As it was, he wasn't sure what was going on.

A manservant shouldn't be able to afford such items. A simple violinist should not be given such a nice bedroom. The help shouldn't have referred to him as sir. The master of the house should have had something for him to do.

Severus was in a topsy-turvy dream world... but he wasn't dreaming.


	3. The First Ball

"Lord Shrieking, your violinist is simply superb!" Lady Parkinson said as she yanked her daughter closer to Remus. Remus smiled politely as she approached. Miss Parkinson looked bored, and she was pulling her kid gloves off when her mother smacked the back of her hand. "Pansy! Do thank Lord Shrieking for his invitation!"

Miss Parkinson smiled at Remus and dipped into a deep curtsy. Her mother was just beginning to smile when she spoke—" Thank you so much for inviting us to this farce of a friendly affair. I've truly enjoyed being trotted about like a prize pony before all the men of my mother's dubious acquaintance."—and then her smile fell.

Lady Parkinson whipped out her fan, fluttering it rapidly in front of her face. "I'm sorry, my lord, but I'm... I've a bit of the vapours. I must take leave of you. Please forgive me for this disrespect."

"There is no disrespect, my lady. Do take a moment to rest in the parlour; I wouldn't want you to become ill." Remus graciously pointed out which direction the parlour was located in, and then he watched Lady Parkinson wander off, still dragging her daughter along behind her.

For all the trials and tribulations Remus had faced, he was glad that an angry mother had never been one of them. He smiled at the memory of his own mother, one of the sweetest women to ever live, he was sure. His father had been harsh, as was common among the men of the gentry, but his mother had spoken angrily only once in Remus's life that he could remember, when she was berating his father for not fleeing the country before everything had fallen apart.

Remus could tell he was falling into the gloomy memories when he heard the dance end. The dancers on the floor bowed to each other and walked off for a moment, taking the short break between dances as an excuse to nibble on the offered refreshments. As it was his first ball that season, and a very large one, he had chosen to offer small finger foods and a sweet cider to his guests instead of a full dinner. He'd heard a few grumbles from the older men and even a couple of more rotund gentlewomen, but most everyone seemed content with the spread he had laid out.

Ginny and Hermione were tending the food, bringing more out from the kitchen as platters emptied. Lucius was acting as his butler for the night and Neville was operating the cloak room. He had seen Harry in and out of the room earlier though, so he supposed the Longbottom boy was having a bit of trouble with his duty, as always. Neville was a kind and gentle young man, but he rarely managed to complete a task as directed... at least, not outside of the bedroom.

The man and women milling about the room looked as though they were getting ready to find their partners for the next dance. Miss Parkinson was being handed off to a gentleman who looked as though he could be her grandfather. Taking pity on the young woman, he strode up to the platform where his musicians stood.

Catching the eye of his violinist, he said, "I'd like to add an upbeat tune to the evening's sets. Can you do that?"

Snape nodded. "Of course, my lord. Allow us but a moment to ready ourselves." He then spun, his coattail flaring out sharply behind him, and began to address the pianist.

Remus wanted to announce the dance for his guests, but he had to wait until a song was settled upon to do so. While he was waiting he took the opportunity to observe Snape.

The man's hair was nowhere near as greasy as Miss Parkinson had made it out to be, though it did shine rather obviously. It was pulled back from his face, accentuating the rather large nose and harsh features. Snape's skin was pale, as though he spent no time in the sun, and his clothing was severe. It was black and covered with glittering black buttons. When Remus had requested he change into something a little more festive, Snape had frowned and explained it was the only nice clothing he had, and indeed, if Remus remembered correctly, it was what he had worn for his performance at Rede's ball.

Still, while the man's features were unflattering, his passion for his music more than made up for them. When Snape was playing, his features would soften imperceptibly and his posture would become straighter and more statuesque. Then his eyes would close, and he would seem to drift into another world.

Now though, Snape was turning back to him and Remus let himself gaze at the man's face. He trailed his glance over the man's lips and then up to his eyes. Snape looked back at him solemnly, as if Remus's interest did not affect him.

"My lord," Snape said, "we would like to play Mozart's Concerto in A Minor, if it pleases you."

Remus nodded. "That is fine. I will announce it." He moved to the front of the stage, conscious of the fact that the violinist's eyes followed him, and then informed his guests that he was adding a new song to the evening, and that it would be danced as a varsouvianna, an older form of the waltz. As he stepped off the stage, he pulled aside a young man, Baron Fletchley's youngest son Justin Finch, and asked him to dance with Miss Parkinson. The young Mr. Finch frown but acquiesced, delighting Lady Parkinson and annoying her daughter when he approached them. Still, Miss Parkinson looked quite a bit happier at the prospect of dancing with someone her own age.

"Playing fairy godfather, Remus?"

Sirius stood near the door to the men's lounge for the evening, a glass of some type of alcoholic drink in his hand. He was in his shirtsleeves, and Remus could hear tittering in the background. He sighed and approached his friend, placing an arm around Sirius's shoulders and leading him into the lounge again.

Nodding to the viscount and two barons already occupying the room, Remus settled the two of them into a set of richly upholstered chairs in the corner. "Sirius, I understand that you are going through a vastly delayed adolescent rebellion, but I do wish you wouldn't do it in polite company."

Sirius snorted. "That lot isn't polite company. They're a bunch of vultures is what they are!"

"Really? I was under the impression the only 'vulture' you were concerned about was the Dowager Lady Grimmauld." Remus kept his jibe at Sirius's mother soft, conscious that there were other men in the room.

Sirius had no such inhibition. "The woman is breeding. She has all of her cronies gathered around her trying to match me up with one of their daughters." He sneered. "It used to be fun to promenade the girls about the room, but I'm not fit company for a young girl, what with me being a convict and all. Now I'm stuck with the spinsters and the widows!"

Sighing deeply, Remus reached out and pulled Sirius's glass away from him, swallowing the whisky before Sirius could protest. Sirius's face grew ruddy with anger, and Remus knew he had had more than enough to drink, whereas Remus thought he could use some more. "I am sorry for your loss—I'm sure the young girls miss their dashing dance partner as well. However, you don't have to attend these balls."

Sirius sighed deeply, his words slurring slightly. "It's the old hag's fault. She believes the government when they claim me guilty, disinherits me when they incarcerate me, and then doesn't want to deal with the mess after they say they've made a mistake." He waved his hands about wildly, knocking a book off the small table next to him and onto the floor. "Instead, she tells me she'll only allow me back into the family if I wed the woman she chooses!"

Remus watched his friend subside into a mess of a man. His clothes were rumpled, his hair dishevelled, and his cheeks bright with an alcohol-induced flush. His half-shuttered eyes and harsh breathing brought to mind images of the man in the throes of passion. Sadly, they were not based on reality. Remus had never seen his friend in such a state of dishabille, not matter how often he had wished to. He covered his face with one hand and tried to push away the fantasies his mind pushed upon him.

His face still covered, Remus murmured, "Once upon a time you would have refused to cater to your mother's whims."

There was no response, and when Remus looked up, he found that Sirius was asleep.

"You drunkard." Remus sighed and left Sirius behind. He popped his head into one of the servant's hallways. Harry came rushing by and Remus called out to him.

"Yes, my lord?" Harry said.

"Sir Sirius is asleep in the lounge. Please wake him and help him to the lavender room in the east wing."

Harry looked put upon, but he agreed. "Yes, my lord."

Remus smiled sadly. "I'm sorry, Harry. I know how he gets when he's like this. You can ask Neville to care for him come morning."

Harry shook his head. "No, it's alright. It's a little depressing when he starts calling me James, but I like being around him." The boy moved off down the hall. "It's nice to hear stories of the past."

That was something Remus couldn't offer him. Sirius's years in prison had been lonely, and he spoke about anything and everything to anyone who would listen. Remus had spent those same ten years living with the consequences of the past though, and he avoided thinking about them at all costs.

Grateful that Sirius was in capable hands that weren't his own, Remus returned to the ballroom. The worst part of hosting a ball was that you couldn't simply leave in the middle of it with some simple excuse. At that moment, he would have liked nothing more than to beg off from the ball with a headache and take to his bed.

The dance he had added had already ended when he re-entered the room. He roamed through the crowd for a bit, speaking with people as necessary and dealing with the minor problems that had cropped up while he was gone. The ballroom was soon filled with music again, and he watched silently as the dancers twirled around each other.

He was surprised to find his tension dissipating as he listened to the music. His eyes drifted to Snape of their own accord. He was in tune with the music, as always, his bow moving rapidly and his hair and clothing flapping about. He was a majestic figure. The man's powerful movements and passion made Remus's blood boil.

Almost everything about the man attracted Remus though. When he had returned home after his monthly visits to Madame McGonagall and Archbishop Dumbledore, he had found the man brooding in Draco's bedroom, his violin beating out a harsh version of Moonlight Sonata. The fierce light in his eyes at the interruption had disappeared the moment he realised who Remus was.

Remus's body thrummed as he imagined what it might take to bring that light back to the man's eyes.

He knew his thoughts were dangerous, and he had barely managed to push them away and calm himself when Rede approached.

"Good evening, my lord. I noticed you watching Mr. Snape." Rede's gaze was cold.

Remus blanched. Could he tell what Remus had been thinking? "Yes, I was. His playing is quite captivating."

Rede smiled closed-mouthed, his lips pulled thin. "I'm glad you think so. I was afraid you had become displeased with him."

"No, no. Indeed, I do believe I got the better deal." Remus tried to offer him a smile, but it felt as though his lips were grimacing instead. It was impossible to carry on a polite conversation with Rede; the man rubbed him the wrong way.

Rede shook his head. "Very well. I'll allow you to believe that for now." He looked toward the violinist and then back at Remus. "Snape has a tendency to become... intractable. If that proves the case, let me know and I will take care of it."

The frosty tone of Rede's voice made Remus shiver. "I will, Sir Thomas. Right now though, I must point out to you that your wife is trying to attract your attention." And Remus thanked her for it. He nodded his head as he edged away from Rede. "I do hope you enjoy the ball."

Rede pursed his lips. "I will," Rede said ominously.

* * *

The ball was proceeding well, and Remus had begun to believe it might actually go off without a hitch when a manservant burst into the ball.

He scanned the ballroom until his eyes alighted on Remus. "Lord Shrieking," he said quietly, "Sir Thomas Rede has discovered two of your servants in a compromising position in the barn. I thought I should warn you that he plans to take them to the pastor."

Remus frowned. "Why?"

"The two servants were both men, my lord."

Uttering foul oaths in more than one language, Remus strode from the ballroom. The servant followed closely behind, his red hair visible in Remus's peripheral vision.

When he arrived at the barn, he found Rede glaring at Neville and Cedric. The two boys were red faced and only partially clothed. He groaned when he caught sight of a large mark on Neville's neck. Cedric always had been one for marking his partner...

"Sir Thomas, may I ask what is going on here?"

Rede grinned mercilessly and said, "You may, and I will tell you. I caught these two men committing sodomy. I am taking them to the priest to be judged for their sins."

Cedric's eyes burned with fury. "My lord, I am sorry, but this is not right. Don't let him do this!"

Rede smacked him across the face. "Respect your betters, boy!

Remus's heart was thrumming. He knew that if he allowed them to leave without being punished aspersions would be cast on his own actions. Still, if he were to allow them to be taken to the priest, they would surely be badly injured, jailed, or even killed.

Finally, he made up his mind. Remus strode forward and grasped Rede's arm as he made to slap Cedric again. "Stop."

Rede glared at him and pulled his arm free. "Your servant has insulted your dignity and committed a heinous act. He deserves to be punished."

Remus looked Rede in the eye, both to make his point heard and so that he wouldn't have to look at Neville and Cedric. "And they shall be, but they are my servants, not yours, and they shall be punished under my orders."

"The punishment must be severe."

Rede was pushing him, Remus knew, but he would not back down. He had to protect his servants, even if it meant hurting them.

"My estate manager will be put in charge of whipping them. They will receive one hit for every year old they are. Cedric will receive one beyond that, as well, in response to his rudeness. Does that please you, sir?"

Rede frowned. "I suppose, my lord. But if they were to do it again..."

Remus shook his head. "You won't catch them again, I promise you." Indeed, Rede wouldn't because Remus would no longer allow him onto the estate when Cedric and Neville were there.

"Fine!" said Rede. He stomped off, the manservant who had alerted Remus trailing behind him. Remus smiled as he realised the man was probably one of Ginny's brothers. The Weasley's were a good family.

"My lord, must we really be punished?" asked Neville.

Remus sighed harshly and did not look at the two boys. "I'm afraid you must. I am sorry, but it would put too many people at risk if I did nothing."

Cedric snarled behind him. Remus squeezed his eyes shut, hard, hoping the whole situation would go away, but when he opened them again, nothing had changed.

"I'm so sorry. Please stay here until I can retrieve Lucius."

Remus walked off, his heart sinking with every step. He could hear sobs behind him, and he supposed Neville had broken down. Why did it have to happen this way?

He had taken each of them to his bed, taught them to make love to a man, and then let go of them when he realised they were in love with each other. They had only just begun their relationship. Why did they have to face something like this now?

He entered the front door and informed Lucius of what he was to do. The man had nodded grimly, and then called another servant to take his place. Remus retreated to his bedroom then, grateful that the ball was winding down and that he wouldn't offend too many guests with an early departure.

He lay in bed, thinking. He could almost hear the sound of a horsewhip beating against human flesh, he imagined. Each imaginary whack made him clench up in pain. Not physical pain, no, but emotional distress—guilt for what he had done.

Still, he was glad that it had been Cedric and Neville that were caught. Nothing too terrible would come of their punishment, and afterwards, they would have each other. Not like Remus. He had no one to comfort and care for him.

In the darkness, the pain felt worse than ever. He rolled to his side and curled up into a ball. He had imagined being in love once, sharing his bed every night with a man who adored him. He'd never told anyone how he had dreamed of Sirius for years. It had been a silly dream, and one that was crushed after Sirius came out of jail a different man from the one who went in.

Now Remus loved no one. He was alone. It was good though because it kept people safe.

It was good.

Tears leaked from his eyes without his permission, but Remus wiped them away and focused on the sounds that were beginning to come from the room next to his. Snape seemed to be settling in for the evening. When the sounds stopped, Remus figured he had fallen asleep, but then music began to drift through the air.

He felt his body relax as a sleepy lullaby pulled him to dreamland. His last thought before he fell asleep was of Snape's dark, angry eyes.


	4. The Servants

Severus set down his violin and stretched. Holding back a yawn, he wanted to crawl straight into bed but his stomach grumbled forcefully, reminding him that he had not eaten since the ball began. He had already put on his nightclothes, but he pulled them back off and shrugged on something that would be appropriate for polite company.

He was glad he had already finished his bedtime routine. As soon as he returned from the kitchen, he would be able to pass out. The other servants were probably still cleaning up from the ball, and he hoped there were still some leftovers.

He slipped on a pair of soft leather shoes, unwilling to be seen without completely proper clothing. Then he left for the kitchen, careful not to slam the door behind him. After Lord Shrieking had disappeared earlier and not returned, rumours that he was ill had begun circulating the guests.

In fact, rumours about the lord had been whispered all evening long. Severus heard that he was a convict on the run, a man broken by his mother's death, and a bastard. From what he knew of the man, Severus doubted Master Lupin, as he requested his servants call him, was any of those things.

Some of the stories had been less farfetched than others, and they had been spoken freely, not in murmurs, so Severus was more inclined to believe them. It seemed that Master Lupin was a generous man who gave much of his money to the church, an orphanage, and a woman who helped prostitutes out of their situations. He was also kind to his servants, friendly with everyone regardless of their social class, and an all around upstanding citizen.

If the ball guests were to be believed, he was perfect. Thankfully, Severus didn't believe them. Everyone had a flaw. He just hadn't found Master Lupin's yet.

He pushed open the door to the kitchen, only to find Neville bent over the table and Ginny, Molly's youngest, touching his backside.

"What... What is going on here?" he spluttered.

Neville flushed bright red and buried his face in his arms. "Kill me now."

Ginny rolled her eyes. "Nothing improper, sir. Neville's been whipped, so I'm applying a salve for him."

Severus grimaced and walked past them. "Must you do it at the table? People eat there," he said. "What were you whipped for, anyway?" he asked as he grabbed a leftover scone.

The door to the yard opened. "Your master, Sir Thomas, caught us in the act of copulation, and so Master Lupin ordered us whipped. Bloody bastards the both of them!" Cedric's voice was strong, but he was limping and leaning heavily on Hermione, the head maid.

Hermione sighed and manoeuvred him so he could lean on the table as well. Ginny silently handed over the salve.

"You really could be more circumspect. Lord Shrieking is tolerant of more deviant lifestyles, but most aren't," Hermione said gently as she began smoothing salve into his wounds.

Cedric snarled and snapped, "Lupin is a fucking hypocrite. How dare he have us whipped when he's liable to have a boy in his bed tomorrow night?" Neville pushed himself upright, wincing as he moved, and walked around the table to take Cedric's hand.

Severus's eyes widened. There, that was the man's flaw. He was as bad as Rede! Severus had been right for not trusting him. That was probably why Severus's bedroom was so close to the lord's—not because he wished to seduce Severus, but because he liked toying with Draco, the musician whose place Severus had taken. Severus had caught a glimpse of the boy when he arrived at Rede's estate, and he had certainly looked young.

Why did men like to take young boys to their beds? Severus's mind flew back to the first time Rede had taken him, his twelve year old body still undeveloped, his limbs too weak to fight the man, to end the pain...

Grunting, he forced his mind back to the present. "I shan't tell anyone. It's not that I'm supportive of it, but it's no damn business of mine."

No one heard his answer to Hermione's comment over Ginny's sudden shout.

"Our lord is not a hypocrite! He's a good man! Would you rather be whipped or be dead?" Ginny cried.

Cedric said, "Whipped, of course, but what does that—"

Ginny cut him off. "Neville told me Rede threatened to take you to the pastor!"

Still tending Cedric's wounds, Hermione cautioned her. "Ginny, you should call him, Sir Thomas. You know what would happen if—"

"I don't care what would happen. That man is the true hypocrite. He tried to force himself upon my brother Fred, but Fred refused and bit him, right on the prick! The bastard deserved it! But he accused Fred of fucking one of his servants who also refused to sleep with him, and both of them were taken to the pastor who ordered them killed." Her voice broke. "Neither of them was more than fourteen, and Rede doesn't even care. My mother says he still takes unwilling men to his bed.

"Be grateful to Lord Shrieking. He whipped you to keep you alive. He lets the two of you be together. Don't insult his kindness." Ginny sobbed openly.

Cedric looked chagrined. "Sorry, Gin... It's just that Nev and I have both been in his bed, and it irked me that he would fault us for something he's taken part in."

Neville smiled at his lover. "You worry too much about what is just. In the end, he is the lord and we are the servants, and we have no right to expect anything. I'm grateful that he allows us to be together and—" Neville gave Hermione a cheeky grin "—that my wife allows it too."

Hermione closed the jar of salve and helped Cedric stand up. "Don't make me sound like a good girl. You know what I'm getting out of this."

Cedric wrapped himself around Neville. "You've told us—the safety of a husband without the work, plus a little home of your own. Still, it can't be easy knowing your husband'll never love you that way," said Cedric.

"It's not, but it's better than what most of my standing get, and I'll take it. Love is a want, not a need." Hermione shrugged and began cleaning up the leftovers. "Anyway, that's enough of that. The two of you need to get off to bed."

Neville protested. "We can't leave you all of this work!"

Hermione tossed a biscuit at him and he barely caught it. "Of course you can. You're in no shape to do anything. Go."

Cedric rolled his eyes, but he did catch the roll she tossed at him. "Night, Hermione, Ginny."

"Goodnight!" they chorused. Neville and Cedric limped off together, holding each other up. The girls began gossiping about some of the other servants, and Severus realised they had forgotten about him. Gathering up some leftovers, he left without offering them a farewell.

Letting himself into his room quietly, Severus pondered what he had learned. Master Lupin still seemed to be a nice man who let his servants love those they wished. It didn't seem like he forced the servants to stay in his bed either, at least not from the way that Cedric had said that he and Neville had been in his bed, as if it was a past occurrence.

Still, perhaps that meant they were simply too old. Cedric had also said that Master Lupin liked boys, and neither of them were boys. Neville was the younger of the two, and he was at least sixteen. It must just be that the lord liked them young. He would be safe from this master then, since Severus was definitely not a boy.

Severus finished off his plate of food and banked the fire for the night, marvelling again at the fact that Master Lupin allowed his servants firewood this late in the year. Aside from his attraction for boys, the lord really did seem almost perfect.

Severus moved to the window to draw his curtains closed and saw a bright star out of the corner of his eye. He shook his head and pulled the curtains shut. He was too old to wish upon a star, but he couldn't help thinking that it would be nice if he could be a part of Master Lupin's household.

* * *

When Master Lupin called Severus into his bedroom two days later, Severus kept in mind what he had heard. Being invited to Rede's bedroom had always been upsetting because Severus had known what would happen. The same fears didn't assault Severus as he entered Master Lupin's rooms as he thought he was safe from any untoward advances.

He was wrong.

Master Lupin seated them at a trio of chairs in his bedroom, claiming he liked the view from the window there. All Severus could see was a large tree and the roof of another section of the house, but he shrugged and pretended he knew what Master Lupin meant.

Master Lupin then poured them tea, offering Severus some of the cakes and scones as well. Severus was beginning to grow suspicious then, as Rede had never called any of his servants to tea and actually fed them. Master Lupin settled himself into the chair closest to Severus, even though he had been nearer the one further away.

He leaned closer to Severus and asked, "Have you found your accommodations to your liking?"

Severus thought of the lavish room he had been placed in. Draco was evidently a pampered catamite. The mere idea of the things that might have been done in that soft bed turned his stomach. Still, he hid his thoughts and nodded brusquely. "They are adequate."

Master Lupin frowned. "Can I do anything to improve them?" His intent gaze was focused on Severus's face, and Severus had to force himself not to look away.

"No. As I said, they are adequate."

"I don't wish for you to live with adequacy though." He leaned in a little more, his eyes not leaving Severus's. "You are worth far more than that."

Severus blinked rapidly and finally had to look away. Master Lupin's gaze was warm, in the way that men's gazes were when they were courting a young lady. Severus didn't know what to make of that. He was no young boy to be forced to bed, nor a gentle lady to be wooed. Still, his eyes thrilled Severus to the core. Rede had never once looked at him that way, and there had been no one else in his life, for Rede would not allow it. Master Lupin's attention confused every part of him.

"I am but a servant, my lord, and my room is beyond what I would have expected to receive. Please forgive me, I have misspoken. My accommodations are splendid." His voice was steady, but he could feel his hands shaking. Severus clasped them together to hide his nervousness.

It didn't help much, especially when Master Lupin leaned even closer and covered both of Severus's hands with one of his own. His thumb gently rubbed the back of his right hand, soothing the trembling nerves. Severus was glad when his hands stopped shaking, but he didn't know what to make of it when Master Lupin pulled his hands apart and drew the right one towards him.

"The room is nothing compared to the beauty of your music." Master Lupin traced his fingers over Severus's veins, down his fingers, and across his calluses. Then he looked up at Severus, holding his gaze as he lifted Severus hand to his mouth. "And your music could never be anywhere near as gorgeous as you are," he murmured, his breath gusting across Severus's fingertips.

Severus's eyes widened. "I—my lord, I..." His voice drifted off as Master Lupin took the tip of Severus's pointer finger into his mouth. Severus had to smother a gasp at the sensation of a tongue dancing along his finger.

He yanked his hand away from Master Lupin's loose hold. "What are you doing?" Severus asked, his voice cracking slightly.

Master Lupin frowned and rose from his chair. He stood over Severus's chair, looking down at him. The memory of Rede looming over him before he forced Severus to submit made him want to flee. He knew what Lupin wanted; he had fooled himself into thinking he would be safe here. Lupin liked little boys, but he was probably willing to use any warm body, like Rede.

Severus didn't allow himself to cower, but he did lower his eyes to the floor, unable to look at the man when he knew what was coming.

He was utterly surprised by the gentle hand that reached out and caressed his cheek. He stiffened. He was used to slaps and shoves, and the soft touch was so different from Rede's harsh punishments.

Master Lupin's hand withdrew. "I had thought you might be willing. I was wrong."

Severus glared at the floor. He did not want to be forced into this, but it seemed as though he had no choice. "I will do anything you require of me, my lord." Uttering the words upset him, but they had always pleased Rede and made his subsequent actions less painful.

Master Lupin sighed and said, "I require nothing." Severus blinked, surprised, and glanced up at his face. Master Lupin wore a sad smile.

"You do not want me—?" Severus asked softly.

He was stunned to hear Master Lupin groan deeply. The man's warm gaze drifted over Severus's body, making him feel naked. "I want you, very much, but I would never force you to do anything you didn't want to do." He leaned over Severus, and pressed a soft kiss against his lips. He pulled back to murmur, "I might force you to want it though." Then he deepened the kiss, and Severus was swept away by the feelings it caused.

Master Lupin's kiss was powerful but gentle, nothing like the few harsh kisses Rede had forced upon him. Severus opened his mouth for Master Lupin's questing tongue and actually moaned at the intrusion. He'd never wanted sex before, not with Rede, but he grew hard from that single kiss.

When Master Lupin pulled away, he and Severus were both gasping for breath. Master Lupin didn't say a word, speaking instead with his eyes as he pulled Severus to a standing position. He moved slowly, undoing Severus's clothing and pulling it from his body. Severus stood motionless, not sure what was expected of him.

Master Lupin pushed Severus's shirt from his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor as he smoothed his hands across Severus's chest. Severus shivered under his touch, and Master Lupin grinned at him. Then Master Lupin began to pull off his own clothing. Severus watched his body emerge from the fabric anxiously, wanting to see more of the man.

Master Lupin's bare chest was covered in hair, and Severus reached out to touch it. His own body bore little hair besides what was on his head. Master Lupin's was almost furry. Severus liked the way the hair felt beneath his hands.

Master Lupin growled and yanked him closer, threading his hands into Severus's hair as he kissed him deeply. He paused long enough to moan, "Snape," and Severus shuddered unhappily. That name was tinged with memories of Rede. He wanted Master Lupin to be set apart from Rede entirely.

"Severus," he gasped as Master Lupin ran his tongue down Severus's throat."Please, call me Severus."

Master Lupin kissed and licked his way back up Severus's throat, stopping at his ear to whisper, "Severus."

Severus shivered, his whole body reacting fiercely to his name on Master Lupin's lips. He let himself be pushed backwards until his knees hit the edge of the bed, and he ended up sprawled over it. Master Lupin towered over him, but Severus wasn't frightened. His gaze was intense, but not savage as Rede's had always been. Severus liked how powerful Master Lupin's gaze made him feel—as if he could hurt the man if he stopped everything.

Even as Master Lupin stripped him of the rest of his clothing, Severus still felt that bit of power. He felt it as Master Lupin kneeled at his feet and Severus sat up to look at him, only to collapse when Master Lupin leaned forward and took Severus's prick into his mouth.

Severus stifled a cry with his hand and closed his eyes, willing himself not to let it end so quickly. It should have been dirty, that fact that Master Lupin was putting his mouth on something that urine came out of, but it was too amazing to be disgusting. "Master Lupin!" he said, moaning as the man pulled away just before Severus could finish.

Master Lupin smiled and slid into bed next to Severus, pulling him close enough to kiss. "I'd rather you called me Remus. It seems only proper, since I've had you in my mouth and all."

Severus nodded and let Remus tug him back into a kiss. "Remus," he murmured against warm lips.

At the sound of his name, Remus groaned and rolled on top of Severus. He pulled Severus's hands above his head and held them there as he plundered Severus's mouth with his tongue. Severus moaned and submitted to him.

After a minute or two, Remus climbed off Severus and the bed and began to rummage through a trunk at the foot of the bed. "I'm going to do something," Remus said. "If it makes you feel uncomfortable, tell me. I want this to make you feel good."

His words made Severus nervous, but having the option to call it off was reassuring. "All right."

Remus returned to the bed with two scarves in his hand. Severus wasn't sure what he planned to do with him, but he rearranged himself on the bed as Remus told him. When Remus fastened his arms to the headboard with the scarves, Severus began to feel a bit discomfited, but he let Remus continue.

He was glad he did. The scarves around his wrists served as tethers, keeping him from getting completely lost in the sensations bombarding him. Severus was full of Remus, full of exquisite feelings, and the scarves protected him from feeling too much.

With the protection of his bonds, Severus threw himself into the moment, loving how wonderful everything felt and how different it was from his experiences with Rede. He hated it too, knowing that he would never forget how Remus had made him feel even though he would surely never feel it again.

Severus came first, but rather than let Remus just use his body, as he let Rede, Severus continued to push back towards him, wishing then that his hands were free so he could touch Remus.

Remus shuddered hard and then froze for a second before collapsing forward onto Severus. "You are so gorgeous," Remus said as he pressed a kiss against Severus's temple. He took a deep breath and pushed himself up, then he freed Severus's hands from the scarves. "Thank you for letting me do that."

Severus shrugged and looked away, rubbing his wrists gently. They were a bit sore, but it wasn't bad. "It was... nice."

"Good." Remus settled down next to Severus and tossed an arm over his stomach. "Stay for a nap, if you've nothing pressing. When you get up, I have a few more things I'd like to do." His hand pressed against Severus's side, hard, as if asking him to stay.

"I... All right." Severus hadn't considered anything like this. Rede had always thrown him out right after using him. He wasn't sure what to make of the man who was almost asleep next to him.

At that moment, he didn't care. Remus might throw him out of his bed. He might wake up and treat Severus harshly, as Rede did. He might never touch Severus again. Severus didn't care.

All he knew was that he was warm, in the arms of someone who had just given him more pleasure than he had ever felt in his whole life, and starved for another taste of those feelings. Severus let Remus snuggle closer, closed his eyes, and fell asleep.


	5. The Baron

Dear Lord Shrieking,

How are you? I hope you've been well since your last visit. The girls all miss you, especially Miss Tonks. I do believe you've inspired her to really shape up. She hasn't gotten into trouble in almost three weeks now! It's really a record for her.

In fact, I'm writing because of this. She's doing well enough now to leave, and I believe that she will do wonderfully in the real world. I'm always afraid of my girls returning to their old ways, but I'm not as worried about her. I am enquiring to see if you knew of any positions for her. As always, I'd like her to be placed somewhere her background isn't known or with someone who can be trusted with the information. Do let me know if any of your contacts need a maid or cook.

While I'm writing, I must say that I'm curious as to how you are getting along with your new musician. You seemed so pleased with him last month. I hope everything worked out as well as you wished.

I know it's silly to say this when you'll be visiting within the week, but do write back, especially if you find a place for Miss Tonks. I enjoy getting notes from you—they simply brighten this old broad's day. Also, do take care of yourself. I know why you look so sickly when you come to visit, but I do wish you'd eat better. Surely, it would make things easier? What do I know though?

I'll see you soon. Eat some pudding at supper. It'll do you good.

Sincerely yours,

Dame Minerva McGonagall

* * *

My Dearest Dame,

I have been fine. More than fine, in fact. I've really taken a liking to "my" musician and we are quite... close. I shall miss him when I come to visit, even though I'll only be gone for a few days. I wish I could bring him along, but I do not think he would be able to handle my secret. Few can, and I treasure those few, including you.

Have you been well? I worry that you are overworking yourself, caring for all the girls. If you ever need some time away from them, you are always welcome at the estate.

I would be delighted to take Miss Tonks into my own household. My cook is getting on in years, and I think an extra pair of hands would help her greatly. I shall come visit you after the full moon, instead of before, and pick her up. She was an entertaining girl, if I remember correctly, and I do believe she will fit into my household very well.

I'm afraid I must end this missive now, as I've dinner in a few minutes. I shall be certain to eat extra pudding as you've commanded.

Truly yours,

Baron Remus J. Lupin, Lord Shrieking

* * *

Remus pinched Sirius as he walked by, to obstensively help Miss Rede rise from her chair. She had come, along with her mother, to the small dinner only because of Remus's agreement with Rede. He hadn't wished to make her a part of the dinner, which was supposed to be a small intimate gathering of friends, but Sirius was pressured by his mother to bring Bertha Jorkins, his apparent potential wife, to the dinner. Miss Jorkins had spread news of the dinner to her friends, and the information had somehow made its way back to Rede, who had prodded Remus for an invitation.

Some days Remus wished he lived alone on a deserted island. Well, maybe not alone. He'd rather Severus was there with him, of course.

Sirius growled at him because of the pinch, and completely ignored the silent message Remus had been trying to convey. Dinner was just ending, and Remus was glad. Sirius had been in a horrid mood all evening, probably because his mother had forced him to invite Miss Jorkins.

They adjourned to the small parlour across the hall, and Remus was forced to suffer through Miss Rede and Miss Jorkins singing and playing the piano. Neither was horrible, but they weren't good either. Normally, Remus and Sirius would commiserate over events like this, but Sirius was in a huge snit.

Finally, at nearly midnight, Remus said goodbye to the last of his guests. He walked back to the parlour and collapsed onto the settee next to Sirius, who was seemingly trying to drink himself into oblivion.

"You could have been a little less rude to Miss Jorkins."

Sirius snorted. "Why would I want to be nice to that hag?" His words were slurring a bit.

Remus pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. "Sirius. I care for you, really I do, but she's a human being and your possible future wife. As such, I must side with her. She deserves your respect."

Sirius glared at him. "Shut up. Don't want to talk to you. I saw you makin' cow-eyes at your violinist all night. Don't say nothin' to me, pervert." He waved his glass around to make his point, the port in it splashing all over the settee and carpet.

Remus grasped the glass, tugged it from Sirius's hand, and sent it flying across the room. It hit the piano and shattered. Remus stared at the sparkling glass, afraid that if he looked at his friend, he would throw the man across the room too. He knew his inclinations were not normal, but he didn't consider himself a pervert. It was more than that though. Remus could handle name-calling, but if Sirius had noticed Remus watching Severus through his drunken fog, the other dinner guests had probably noticed too. He hoped word didn't get back to Rede. His silly flirtations with Severus might end up costing them their lives.

Sirius looked at Remus was bleary eyes. "You're going to get in trouble. Your mum's going to whip your arse."

Remus sighed and stood. He grabbed Sirius's hands and pulled him up too. He staggered against Remus, steadying once Remus wrapped an arm around him.

"Your mum's going to beat your arse like a horse. Haha! Arse and horse almost rhyme. Kinda. I'm a poet!"

Remus just tugged him up the stairs and ignored his rambling. His mother was dead. Sirius knew this, but he was no longer mentally stable. Remus wanted to hate him for the things he said when he was drunk, but he knew it wasn't Sirius's fault. Prison had destroyed him. If only Remus had known about Peter sooner... but the past was in the past.

He dropped Sirius off in one of the guest rooms and called Harry in to keep watch over him. It wouldn't do for Sirius to toss up in the middle of the night and suffocate on his own sick. Then he headed for his own bedroom and the man who was waiting for him.

When he opened the door to his room, he was pleased to find Severus stretched out on his bed, wearing nothing but a smirk, just as Remus had ordered. The smirk fell when he caught sight of Remus.

"What is wrong?" Severus asked.

Remus shook his head and sat down on the edge of the bed to tug off his boots.

Severus frowned. Moving closer, he swiped his tongue along the ridge of Remus's ear. Remus shuddered. "Tell me what's wrong," ordered Severus.

Remus leaned back against Severus. If it were anyone else, he would refuse, but he had grown close to the man in the two weeks since he'd first taken him to bed. He hadn't spent a single night alone since then.

Severus bit Remus's earlobe gently, and Remus capitulated. "All right. It's Sirius."

"The drunkard from dinner?" Severus's tone was heavy with derision.

Remus pulled away from him and snapped, "He is a baron. Be respectful!"

At once, Remus regretted his words. Severus's gaze fell to the bedcover, and he straightened up, sitting gracefully on his heels with his back erect and his face turned down. "Yes, my lord."

Remus wasn't positive, but he expected that Severus had been taken harshly by someone before, and more than once. He needed to be coaxed into having sex and usually let Remus do anything he wanted. Remus didn't want to hurt him though. He could tell when Severus was uncomfortable because the man would lose the commanding tone that came naturally to him. Instead, he would speak in a soft, subservient voice and follow orders to the letter, regardless of how distasteful he seemed to find them. Remus liked submissive bed partners, but he did not like dismissive ones.

Apologetically, he captured Severus's lips in a kiss. At first, Severus was unresponsive, but he slowly began to warm up to Remus. Remus pulled away and grinned at the glazed look of arousal on Severus's face.

"I apologise for acting so inconsiderately, but please do speak kindly of Sirius. He is my oldest friend." Remus began unbuttoning his dinner jacket. "He was once my dearest friend too, but I'm afraid the tortures of prison have taken his mind from him. He is no longer the man he once was."

Severus wrinkled his nose, but began helping Remus remove his clothing. "May I ask how he found his way to prison?"

Remus gave him a smug look. "You may."

Severus rolled his eyes and then pulled off Remus's shirt, pressing a kiss against his collarbone as he did. "How did he find his way to prison?"

Remus paused in removing his clothing to drape his arms over Severus's shoulders. Severus held him close as he spoke. "You know of the revolt in India against the rule of the British East India Company, I'm sure."

Severus nodded.

"Sirius's father was invested in the company and had moved his family there. His mother hated it and claimed it was no fit place for aristocracy. Sirius thought it was a grand adventure. He and his servant, a half-Indian half-British boy named Peter, spent much of their time amongst the natives.

"I lived there too, at that time, and met Sirius and Peter during one of their exploratory expeditions. I was also friends with a boy named James, who was a commoner from Britain. His father was a high ranking official in the East India Company, along with mine, so we met through them."

Remus paused then, the memories of that time still painful to think of. Severus held him until he was ready to continue.

"The four of us played together even though we were of differing social statures. One's place in British society mattered little in the wilds of India. It was when the Indians began to gather together to battle the Company that things fell apart."

He stopped and began stripping off his trousers. Severus watched, but did not help, giving Remus time to pull himself together. When he was finally naked, Severus pulled him to the bed, but simply laid down next to him, not initiating any kind of contact.

Remus took a shuddering breath and began again.

"A dark shaman called the Indian people to battle. We did not know it then, but he was a half-British half-Indian boy who had been shunned by his British father. His name was Thomas Riddle. His mother died and he was raised by people of his village who mistreated him. It warped his mind, they say, and turned him evil."

Severus snorted. "Many people suffer terrible tragedies and do not grow to be evil."

Remus shrugged. "No matter. He found a great number of people like himself who were suffering greatly and took advantage of that. He led the uprising against the company with the help of knowledge provided by Peter."

Severus sucked in his breath. "Your friend?"

"Yes. He tricked us all though, by coming forward just after the attacks with accusations against Sirius. We were made to believe that Sirius was the one who had provided the information to Riddle. So many were killed or injured in that battle: my father and James died, my mother was gravely hurt. It seemed right at the time to lock him away."

"So, Sirius was innocent, but jailed, and the true perpetrator walked free?" Severus sounded almost disbelieving, but it was the truth.

Remus had not wanted to believe that Sirius was capable of such treachery. After all, he had fancied himself madly in love with Sirius. At the same time, he had not wanted to doubt the half-Indian boy he had called a friend. It had taken him years and many, many pounds paid to private investigators to get to the bottom of everything. Knowing the truth had hurt, but it hurt far less than the lie had. "Peter remained free in India and Sirius spent ten years slowly losing his mind in a British jail."

Severus let out a low whistle. "That must have been hard for you to face."

He had no idea what the repercussions of the uprising had meant for Remus. "It was," he said simply. As much as he wished to be open with his lover, Remus knew that it was too dangerous to tell him the whole truth. Remus's secret endangered others. It also left Remus open to pain, something he had dealt with more than enough already.

Severus seemed to understand that Remus did not want to talk anymore. Now was the time to focus on the present.

He began to run his tongue along Remus's ear, tickling it. Remus edged away from the tongue and turned his head, pulling Severus into a kiss. Severus's hands wandered along his body, bringing him to attention.

"Uhm," he hummed. "I want you on top tonight, love."

Severus was shocked, if his dropped jaw and wide eyes were anything to go by. "I've never... I mean, we've never done it like that before."

Remus leered. "I doubt you've done many of the things we have done together before."

Severus looked away and a light flush suffused the bridge of his nose. "No," he said.

Remus grinned and pulled Severus on top of him. "It won't be that different though. I'll still be the one inside."

Severus peered down at him blankly. "But how...?" His eyes widened comically. "Oh!" He smirked. "Oh."

Remus chuckled softly. "Oh, yes indeed." He pulled Severus down to kiss him.

* * *

Dame McGonagall glared at him from beneath a broad-rimmed tartan bonnet. Remus was always amused by her blatant shows of her Scottish heritage. "Lord Shrieking, are you to tell me that you cannot spare even time for tea?"

"Indeed. My... visit with Bishop Dumbledore was especially stressful. I long for my own bed." He smiled sweetly, hoping to earn her forgiveness. Most times he stayed for hours during his visits, sharing tea and gossip with the woman who had been a bit of a second mother to him after his own died, but that day he wished to be home.

Luckily for him, the woman was a softy at heart. "I'm sorry to hear that." She was a shrewd softy though. "And I'm certain you also wish to return to your musician."

Remus sighed. "Why do I even bother to try lying to you, Dame?"

"I do not know. However, we were not expecting you so soon. Miss Tonks has not packed. Do come in and have a cup of tea while you wait for her to ready herself." McGonagall smirked and Remus didn't blame her. She had outwitted him again.

He allowed himself to be ushered to a small drawing room for tea and scones. They lingered for a while, far longer than Remus felt was necessary for the girl to pack her bags. He knew she wouldn't have many things. Minerva cared for her girls deeply, but she didn't have the money to provide them with anything beyond the necessities.

At last, the door opened and a girl with pink hair peeked her head inside. McGonagall broke off her sentence to say, "Do come in, Miss Tonks, and greet Lord Shrieking."

Remus had met her once before in passing when she served tea to McGonagall and him, but her hair still shocked him. On closer examination, it was obviously a strawberry-blonde, but from a distance, it always appeared to be pink.

She entered the room and sank into a curtsy, pitching forward as she attempted to rise. Landing on Remus's lap, she began to apologise immediately. "My lord, please, forgive me. That was terribly clumsy of me. My legs they just—"

"Miss Tonks! We do not call attention to our limbs!" McGonagall's voice was stern, but not harsh.

Miss Tonks blanched and pulled herself together. "Yes, ma'am." She stood and brushed herself off. "I just came to let you know that I'm ready."

McGonagall sighed and stood. She hugged the girl. "I will miss you, my dear."

Miss Tonks hugged her back. "I'll miss you too, ma'am."

McGonagall tsked at her. "Madam, Miss Tonks, refer to those of greater social stature than you as madam."

Miss Tonks grinned. "But, my lady, I like ma'am better." McGonagall looked to protest, but Miss Tonks cut her off. "It reminds me of mum."

"Oh!" McGonagall gave her a weak smile. "Go say your goodbyes, my dear one." Her lips trembled and it was obvious that she was fighting tears.

Miss Tonks nodded and fled, knocking over a small table in her haste. Remus turned away from McGonagall to give her a chance to regain her poise, covering up his action by setting the table back into its place.

McGonagall sniffed once, but her voice was strong when she said, "Miss Tonks is a strong-willed girl, but one needs to be if they want to survive in that business. She carries her past with her more than the others do. It's been difficult for her to learn the rules of society, but I believe with time no one will be able to discern her roots."

"She will be fine. I will keep watch over her," promised Remus.

McGonagall nodded. "See that you do."

* * *

Remus took his promises seriously. When they arrived back at the estate, he showed Miss Tonks around and introduced her to all of his servants, including Severus, who chose to accompany them for much of the tour.

The servants all took to Miss Tonks, greeting her and offering to help her. Remus was pleased. He ended the tour in the kitchen, passing Miss Tonks off into the cook's hands. Miss Tonks sent him a plaintive look when Mrs. Longbottom began listing all of her tasks, but Remus ignored it in favour of following Severus up to his room.

As soon as Remus closed the door behind him, Severus slammed him up against it. Remus moaned his kiss, letting Severus take the lead for once. He was still worn out from the trip, and it was nice to see Severus being assertive. Severus abandoned the kiss in favour of ripping open Remus's waistcoat and shirt and sucking marks onto his skin.

"I missed you," Remus said. Severus responded by sucking on Remus's collarbone, dangerously close to where people would be able to see. "But I brought you a present."

Severus released Remus's neck with a tiny pop. "A present? For me?"

Grinning devilishly, Remus admitted, "Well, it's actually for both of us." He glanced around the room and located his bag. Harry must have brought it up. "In fact, I think we should use it now."

"Now?" asked Severus.

Remus didn't reply. Instead, he handed the gift to Severus wordlessly.

Severus blinked repeatedly. "You bought me a corset?" He held the corset out from his body, dangling it by its laces. The dark green satin shimmered as it swung in and out of the sunlight.

Remus had known he would not be grateful of the gift, but he expected that Severus would grow to like it with time. "Trust me," Remus said. "It is a very pleasurable article of clothing."

"What do you mean? It's a piece of women's clothing. What's so pleasurable about that?"

Remus reached out for the corset and Severus handed it back to him. He undid the busk clasps. "Well, for one thing, properly tightening a corset requires someone else's help." He smirked at Severus. "And once it's tightened, you'll find it a bit more difficult to breathe. If we tighten it enough, you'll feel a bit dizzy... a very interesting feeling to have when you're in the midst of sex."

Looking intrigued, Severus gave a curt nod. "All right. I'll try it, but I want to be able to back out if the situation becomes too uncomfortable."

"Of course!" Remus was pleased that Severus was agreeing to this. He had been afraid it would be too far out of his comfort zone to even consider it. "Choose a word that you would not normally use in the bedroom, and if you say it, I will end things immediately."

"Why can't I just say 'no' or 'stop'?" Severus asked.

"How many times have you said no or stop in the past few weeks and meant exactly the opposite?" Remus was amused to see Severus actually consider it.

"Sirius," said Severus suddenly.

Severus and Sirius had been together? He'd said it to Sirius and Sirius hadn't stopped? Remus recoiled. "What? You and Sirius? What... when?"

Severus rolled his eyes. "Never. 'Sirius' is my safe word. I will never say that man's name in conjunction with sex." He cast a steely gaze at Remus. "And you shouldn't either."

Remus laughed, utterly relieved. Something about the thought of Sirius and Severus together had filled him with pain. "All right. Sirius it is. Now... strip."

Severus did as he was told. Once he was naked, he took the corset back from Remus and fastened the busk. It hung on his body loosely, the laces not yet tight enough to shape it to his body.

Severus reached back to begin tightening the laces, but Remus smacked his hand away. "I'll do it," he said, in the same tone that a young child would shout "mine!"

Severus shivered and grabbed onto a bedpost to hold himself steady as Remus tugged on the laces. It took a while. Remus would cinch the corset as tightly as he could, and then Severus would gasp for breath for a moment. They would pause to let Severus get accustomed to the tightness, and then Remus would again the pull the laces even tighter. They used the time to discuss what had happened on the estate while Remus was away.

"I wish I hadn't had to go." Remus licked a stripe up the back of Severus's neck. "I wish I could stay with you always." He laid a kiss on his shoulder as he finished knotting the corset laces.

The corset shaped Severus's body into an almost feminine shape, though it was too large near the bust and hips. Remus resolved to have a corset made just for Severus in the future.

"Why did you go?" Severus asked, turning to face Remus.

Remus ignored the question, pretending he hadn't heard. He slipped off his clothing, wincing when he noticed his shirt was missing buttons from Severus's rough handling.

"Why did you go?" Severus repeated.

Remus sighed. "Like I told you before I left, I wanted to go visit my friend, Bishop Dumbledore."

Severus studied him, as if weighing Remus's words. Remus felt his stomach begin to flutter. Had Severus discovered his secret? Even the servants didn't know—how could he have figured it out?

"And where did Miss Tonks come from?" Severus asked.

Remus wanted to growl at him. What business was it of his where Remus chose to go? "My friend Dame McGonagall helps downtrodden young women find a place in society. She informed me that she had finished training Miss Tonks and that she needed a place for her to work. I offered her a job here."

Severus was too astute for his own good. "You are speaking of the Dame McGonagall who runs a house for saving soiled doves, are you not?"

Remus nodded tersely. "Yes."

Severus sneered. "So, you brought yourself home a prostitute."

None of McGonagall's girls deserved that name, at least not anymore. Remus reached out and slapped him before he realised what he was doing. Severus's hand snapped to the side, but he didn't turn back to look at Remus.

"Sirius," Severus said quietly.


	6. The Final Ball

Fingers trembling, Severus began undoing the clasps of the corset. He'd been afraid of this since the moment Remus walked in the door. Remus had escorted Miss Tonks around as if she were queen of the household, showing her off to everyone. Severus had compared that to his own arrival at the estate. Remus hadn't even been there to greet him.

If that wasn't enough, the other servants all took to Miss Tonks too, addressing her simply as Tonks, which she said she preferred. Even more than a month after his arrival, everyone still called Severus 'sir' instead of his name. Not that he wished them to call him by name, but it was the principal of the matter.

The first two clasps came undone easily, but he fumbled with the third one. The corset was pulled very tight around the waist to make his figure look feminine. That was the problem. Severus didn't know why Remus had bothered to have sex with him when it was obvious that he wanted a woman. Now he had Tonks.

Severus knew she was supposed to be a rehabilitated prostitute, but no one could escape their roots. Once a whore, always a whore. Remus would probably find it easy to seduce her, and then he could be happy with his 'soiled dove'.

At last, he got the third clasp open, but before he could reach for the fourth one, Remus grasped his hands, holding them lightly.

"Why are you upset?" asked Remus.

Severus pushed his hands away and snapped, "Don't coddle me. I'm not a girl." He finished opening the corset and threw it at Remus. "Go give that to Tonks. I don't want it."

Remus dropped the corset to the ground and stepped over it to get closer to Severus. Severus refused to look at him though, staring instead at the bedpost he had held onto earlier. "Severus, are you upset that I brought Miss Tonks here?"

Severus sneered. "I don't give a damn what you do with that whore." He waited for another blow, but it didn't come. Instead, Remus gently ran his hand along Severus's cheek. Severus looked at him with disdain.

"I don't want her." Remus pressed a kiss against his cheek, which Severus knew was probably enflamed. "I want you."

Severus wanted to believe him, but too many people had lied to him before. Rede had promised to care for him once, but that had not turned out very well. It only made sense that Remus was lying to get what he wanted too.

Remus continued to touch Severus, trailing his fingers down Severus's side. "I am attracted to you. Not to Miss Tonks."

Severus was tired of being lied to. "Why the corset then?" he asked. "Why try to make me into a woman?"

Remus shook his head. "I was never trying to make you into a woman. I have played with a corset before, and I like the way they feel."

His hand settled on Severus's hip and Severus shoved it off. "Then why weren't you the one wearing it?"

"I thought it would look better on you," Remus said. "You've such a thin body..." He placed his hand on Severus's stomach. "I wanted to see what you'd look like in it." Severus moved to smack his hand away, but Remus let it fall. "It didn't look right though."

Severus was stung. He crossed his arms and glared at Remus to hide the pain. Rede had always said he was ugly. Wearing the satin corset had made him feel good in a way he couldn't explain, especially when Remus admired him in it. Obviously, he had lied about that too.

Remus continued, saying, "I should have had a corset made just for you. That one was made for a woman, and it didn't fit you at all."

Severus floundered for a moment. What did he mean by that? Did he wish he had made a corset for Severus because he didn't want him to look like a woman? Or was it that he wanted one that would fit well and make him look more feminine?

Letting his arms fall at his sides, Severus admitted defeat. "I don't understand."

Remus took both of Severus's hands in his and pulled Severus closer. "I want you. I don't want a woman. I don't like women. They are nice in bed at times, but I much prefer men. More than that, I prefer you."

"Why me?" asked Severus.

"Because you create magic every time you play the violin," Remus said. "Because you are open to trying new things. Because you are strong and amazing. Because there is something inside of me that only you have ever touched, and I think that no one else ever will."

Severus let himself be embraced, and then he embraced Remus in return. He didn't say anything. He couldn't say anything. He was too afraid that Remus would say something and make it obvious that he had lied to Severus. Severus did not want to lose the perfection of that moment, so instead of talking, he let his body speak for him.

* * *

Four weeks passed in a whirlwind. Remus had a small ball each week, and he frequently invited people to dinners that were more like feasts. Severus enjoyed attending these events as a mere musician. He was not expected to speak, though he did add his thoughts to the conversation more than once.

He especially enjoyed it when Remus caught him playing a funeral dirge whenever Sirius's mother attended the evening's entertainment. It was easy to make fun of the bitter old woman, whose favourite topic of conversation appeared to be her lumbago. Remus would berate him for it afterwards, but he always ruined his rebukes by following them up with a round of enthusiastic sex.

With every passing day, Severus began to feel more for Remus. He wasn't sure if the proper term for it would be love, but at the very least, it was strong affection.

On the rare occasions that Severus let himself hope for something, he liked to imagine that Remus felt the same way. When Remus sent him secret smiles during balls and kept him up into the wee hours of the night talking, Severus wished that he could stay with Remus forever. But the final ball of the season was quickly approaching, and Rede would demand his return after that.

There was nothing Severus could do about it. He owed a debt the Rede that would have to be repaid before he could leave the man's services. After his mother's death in during the Irish famine, Severus and his father had fled Ireland to England, his father's home country. Rede had given Severus's father a job on his estate. When his father died only three years later during a cholera epidemic, Rede had given his father a funeral and allowed Severus to stay on the estate. Later, he provided training for Severus so that he could learn to play his mother's violin. If he had known the price he would pay for those things before he accepted them, Severus would have found some other way to survive. Living on the streets was better than being forced into Rede's bed.

Remus might have been able to purchase Severus's debt from Rede, but Severus doubted he would. For one thing, it was unseemly for a man to show so much interest in another man. For another, it would mean that he felt something for Severus that was worth the hundreds of pounds of debt that he had accrued, and Severus had no doubt that while Remus liked him, his affection did not run that deep.

All of these thoughts and worries built up in Severus as time passed, and when Remus's last ball of the season rolled around, his emotions were in turmoil. He knew it was showing through his music as well. The waltzes he played were more upbeat than ever before; the minuets, more beautiful; and the promenades, more stately.

He watched the dancers surreptitiously, careful to look at the entire room, though he wanted nothing more than to focus entirely on Remus. As he was scanning the room, his gaze fell on Rede. His bow faltered in his hand—not enough to sound bad, but enough to force his attention back to the instrument—when he noticed how furious Rede looked.

The man's face was an angry red, and he was gesturing madly while speaking to his wife. She wasn't paying much attention to him, which only seemed to make him madder. Finally, he snapped something at her, whirled, and left the room.

Severus couldn't say he was sorry to see him go.

* * *

Severus walked into the kitchen late that night to retrieve some snacks, as it was, by then, a post-ball ritual for him. He found himself in the midst of a scene that gave him a horrible sense déjà vu. There were no people laughing at each other this time though.

Hermione was gently applying salve to Ginny's wrists. Harry was hovering nearby, wringing his hands anxiously, and Neville and Cedric sat at the table, staring into empty cups of tea as if they could see the future in the leaves.

Ginny attracted the most attention though. She was sobbing heavily and her face had a huge bruise forming on it. It slashed across one eye, which was already black, and down her cheek. Her bottom lip was split, and her nose had dried blood on it. He assumed Hermione had stopped the bleeding somehow.

Severus had an urge to ask if he could help, but he didn't think they would appreciate it. They barely allowed him to use their first names. He doubted they would tell him what had happened.

He ignored them, and they ignored him, as he gathered up some food. He left the room, letting the door slam behind him, and then he waited.

From outside of the door, he heard them begin speaking again.

"Who did this, Ginny? Please, you have to tell us." It sounded like Hermione was the one trying to elicit information from her.

Ginny's voice was sharp with pain when she said, "I don't have to do anything."

"Please," a masculine voice added. "Let us help you. We'll protect you from him."

"No, Harry," Ginny said. "It's not me that I'm worried about. Stop asking."

Severus rolled his eyes. Even in pain, the girl was more concerned about someone else. What silly people these servants were.

Harry's voice came again. "But Ginny, please—"

Ginny shrieked suddenly and cut off his words. Hermione's voice was shrill—"Harry, you know what just happened to her. Don't get so close!"—and he heard something bang in the kitchen, making Ginny sob.

"Damn it!" Harry said tersely. His voice then softened. "I'm sorry, Gin. I'm not like him. I promise. I love you."

Ginny's reply was almost incoherent, she was crying so hard. "I love you too, but I can't. I know you're not him, but you're a man. I can't..."

"I'll... I'll go then." Harry's voice moved closer to the door. "If you need me, or you want to talk... I don't think I'll sleep much tonight." Severus stepped back into some nearby shadows just as the door swing open. Harry raced out of the room, and Severus saw him wipe his eyes with a fist as he passed.

Hermione followed him out of the room, shutting the door behind her. "Harry, wait! Don't go!"

Harry spun around to look at her. His face was distraught. "I love her. Tell her that I'm not going to abandon her over this. I just can't not touch her. I want to comfort her, and I don't know how to do it without frightening her."

"Just be there for her," Hermione said.

Harry shook his head. "I will be... in the morning, once I've cooled off a bit. Right now, all I want to do is go rip someone's head off for hurting her. If I only knew who it was..."

Hermione snorted. "If you knew who it was, you'd go kill him and land your arse in jail." She frowned at him. "You'd better come for her in the morning. I don't think she could handle you rejecting her."

"I'll be there for her; I promise." Harry turned to go. "Thank you," he said as he left.

Hermione sighed. "You're welcome," she murmured. She re-entered the kitchen, and then Severus was alone in the hall.

* * *

"How can you leave?" Severus glared at Remus.

Remus just continued to climb into his hired carriage. "I'm sorry, Severus, but I have to go. I promise I'll be back as soon as possible."

Severus wanted to stomp his feet or scream or do something to express his displeasure. "Miss Weasley was just raped last night. How can you leave when something like this has just happened? The ball season is almost over. You can't just leave!"

Remus settled into his seat and leaned closer to Severus. "I must go. There is much at risk, more than you could imagine. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but I wanted you to have a happy last ball. I'll return before the season ends, I promise."

It was stupid to think that he could keep Remus from leaving. Severus obviously meant little to him. None of the estate members meant anything to Remus. He was leaving after what happened to Ginny; how could Severus expect him to stay for his benefit?

Rede would be back to retrieve Severus soon, and then he would never see Remus again. The thought filled Severus with panic.

Remus beckoned Severus closer. Severus approached, but remained a polite distance away, cautious of the carriage driver's eyes on them. "I'll return before the season ends, Severus," said Remus.

Severus held his gaze. "See that you do." With that, he stepped away from the carriage and Remus nodded to the driver. They moved off, down the dirt lane that led to the estate, the horse hooves and carriage wheels throwing up a cloud of dust and obscuring them from view.

Severus turned to go inside and found Harry watching him.

"I thought you'd be able to do it, sir," said Harry. "No one's ever been able to keep him from going on his visit. He thinks we don't understand, I guess. I thought you would be able to keep him here with us though."

Severus stepped closer to Harry. "What do you know, boy?" he asked menacingly.

Harry rolled his eyes at Severus. "You don't scare me."

Huffing, Severus crossed his arms and glared at Harry. "I don't care if I scare you. Tell me what you know. What is so important that he has to abandon those who care for him?"

A bright grin light up Harry's face. "You do care for him then! I was right!"

"Potter! What do you know?" Severus was getting frustrated. It seemed as though everyone except him knew Remus's secret. He desperately wanted to know what was more important to Remus than Severus. He brushed that thought off almost immediately.

Severus meant nothing to Remus, and he shouldn't let Remus mean anything to him. He knew it was only a matter of time before Rede appeared. After that, he would probably never see Remus again.

Harry leaned back against the porch. "I don't know much. It's all because of what happened in India."

Severus knew little about India, beyond what Remus had mentioned once in bed. "He lived there as a young man."

Harry nodded. "He was best friends with my father, James."

Severus was shocked. "He didn't say anything about you..."

"Of course not," said Harry. "My mum, Lily, was half Indian. He never tells anyone about me because he's afraid that they'll find out and ship me back to India." The boy glanced at the ground and shuffled his feet in the dirt. "Anyway, he was best friends with my father and Sirius Black and a boy named Peter. Peter told the dark shaman Riddle all about the English people because he was jealous of my father and his friends. Riddle launched an attack on my father's house one day when he knew that there was to be a large gathering of the English owners.

"My father and mother were targeted because of my mother's blended race—Riddle hated anyone who was a half-blood and happy. My father was killed immediately, and then he threatened my mother. She tried to protect me and jabbed him in the side with a sword. He didn't die immediately, and he managed to kill her before she could escape. His blood loss weakened him, and he died before he could get to me. He wanted to kill me as well, for being part Indian and part English."

Severus bit back a sneer. It might be useful to know Harry's story, but he cared little about it. He was more worried about what had happened to Remus. "So, your parents died, Sirius ended up in jail, and Peter escaped. Did Remus come out of the attack unharmed?"

Harry began scuffing his feet on the ground again. "Not exactly. He was trying to protect my parents when one of Riddle's followers attacked him. He never told me what happened after that, but ever since then he has spent the night of the full moon in Bishop Dumbledore's church. The bishop knows why he goes there, but none of the rest of us do. All we know is that he has to go, or something bad will happen."

Full moons and religious protection. It sounded as though Severus were in the midst of a badly written Gothic novel. "You know nothing else?"

"Nothing." Harry looked up at him with sadness in his eyes. "And nothing has ever kept him here. Even when his mother was on her deathbed, he continued to leave. She breathed her last breath one night while he was away. I don't think he's ever forgiven himself for that."

Severus sighed. He had not questioned Remus's disappearances at first. It had seemed plausible that he was merely going on business trips. Business could wait though. What made him flee as he did? Even though the mystery had deepened, Severus felt a bit relieved. Perhaps Remus had not been lying. Perhaps he truly had wished to remain with Severus.

Perhaps he would miss Severus as much as Severus would miss him.

Severus brushed off his thoughts, focusing back on the boy before him. "I wish I had been able to make him stay. If nothing else, as the master of the estate, he should be looking into Miss Weasley's attack."

Harry grimaced. "I wish he had looked into it. I don't know if we'll ever get her to say who did it. I just can't imagine what kind of monster would do something like that."

Severus could imagine many monsters, all human, who would indeed do such a thing. He was to return to the house of one of those monsters in a few days.

Surprising himself, Severus laid a hand on Harry's shoulder, but only long enough to turn him towards the door. "Let me see how Miss Weasley is faring. My mother taught me some herbal remedies that might help her improve more rapidly."

Harry blinked at him. "Thank you, sir... Severus."

Harry's words gave him a feeling of acceptance. Severus savoured it. He wasn't sure why, but he liked the servants on Remus's estate. Hiding his thoughts, Severus sneered. "I'll thank you to address me as Mr. Snape."

Harry laughed and Severus smacked him on the back of his head. Then Severus followed the boy inside of the house. It felt like he was coming home.

* * *

Severus's fears came true the next day. Percy arrived from Rede's estate bearing Draco Malfoy. Severus had been prepared to return, so he gathered up the few items he had not packed and walked to the front door.

He was surprised to find some of the servants of Shrieking Manor there to see him off. Ginny was speaking with her brother by the carriage, her eye covered in the green paste Severus had prescribed for it. Neville gave him a shy smile as he passed, and he offered him a nod in return.

Harry was hovering anxiously over Ginny from a distance, as she still didn't feel very comfortable around men, and he frowned as Severus approached.

"I wish you didn't have to go," said Harry. "You were good for Master Lupin."

Severus tossed his bag into the carriage. "Master Lupin and I have little to do with each other."

Harry crossed his arms. "Maybe you should have had more to do with him. Then, perhaps, he would have stayed."

Severus glared at the boy, angry with him for saying the things Severus didn't even want to think. "Insolent brat."

Percy rounded the corner of the carriage then, having said goodbye to Ginny. "Are you ready to go, Snape?"

Snape nodded. He climbed into the carriage without looking behind him.

"Goodbye, Mr. Snape," Harry said.

Severus nodded towards the boy. He was an idiot, but he had his good qualities, Severus supposed. "Goodbye, Potter."

Percy climbed into the front of the carriage and clucked the horses forward.

Severus waited until the cleared the gate of the estate to talk to Percy. "How have things been?"

Percy shook his head. "Rede's been a bastard the entire time you've been gone. I think these have been the longest three months of my life."

"Who has he called to his bedroom in my absence?" It was a strange question to need to know the answer to, but Severus knew that his treatment upon arriving at the manor would hinge on how Rede felt at that moment.

Percy's shoulders slumped a bit. "At first he favoured me. I think he might have tried to get Ron into bed, but my brother avoided him for a few days and I didn't hear of it again. The musician Draco took the brunt of it though, especially after he returned from Lord Shrieking's first ball."

Severus wanted to throw something. The man was such a bloody idiot. Taking his own servants to bed put him at little risk. He held their jobs or debts over their heads, and they couldn't escape him. Draco had no such reason to remain quiet though. He could have gone to the police with tales of rape. "He did not resist?"

"No," said Percy. "I tried to convince him to leave. He has a job with Lord Shrieking. He would have been fine. Rede must have scared him with something though, for he refused."

Thus letting Rede escape punishment again. How could someone so evil have such good luck? "Damn it."

Percy looked over his shoulder and caught Severus's eye. "He came home two nights ago from the last ball in a mood. He hasn't called anyone to bed since then."

Severus blanched. Tonight would be painful then. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I appreciate the warning."

Percy nodded and faced back to the road, leaving Severus to his thoughts. They arrived back at Rede's estate far faster than Severus wanted.

Severus entered the house through the servants' entrance in the kitchen. Molly Weasley glanced up from her cooking. Her face crumpled when she saw him.

"I'm sorry, Snape. He told me to tell you to go to his office as soon as you arrived," she babbled. "He said he'd be there waiting."

Severus dropped his bag next to a chair at the kitchen table and took a seat. "Stop worrying. He'll do nothing in his office, and he doesn't know I've arrived. I'll take some tea before I got to him." In truth, Severus needed to steady himself beforehand. Rede often took Severus on the floor of his office. He was usually even more vicious then.

Molly wiped away her tears with her apron. "I wish there was a way to get him locked up. You and Percy... it isn't fair!" She twisted her apron in her hands. "If only Arthur and I could get a job elsewhere. We could bring Ron and George along with us, and Percy would be free to leave."

Severus watched her throw herself into her cooking so she wouldn't start crying again. It was nearly impossible for a family of redheads to find work. Jobs were difficult to find if you were Irish, or even if you just looked Irish, and had been since the potato famine. It was one of the reasons Severus himself was trapped with Rede. If he had been able to find a job, he could have paid back the cost of his father's funeral and his violin training.

His mother had been Irish though, and a Traveller at that. The Travellers were the "Irish gypsies". Her family had abandoned her for marrying a stationary Englishman, and so Severus could not call on them. His father's family was poorer than he was. With the stigma of being born to an Irish woman and an Englishman who became a drunkard after his wife's death, Severus had no options. No one would hire him if they knew, and Rede would make certain that they did.

Molly stirred her soup pot for a minute, checked the roast in the oven, and then poured two cups of tea. She handed one to Severus and settled herself into the seat across from him. "How was Ginny?" Molly asked.

He didn't know how to tell her kindly, so he said it simply. "She was raped two nights ago. She won't say who did it."

Molly gasped. "My poor baby girl... I thought she'd be safe there."

Severus knew that Molly had sent Ginny away right after Fred's death. Molly hadn't wanted any of her children to stay at Rede's estate after that, but Ginny, who had been barely eleven, had been the only one to find a job elsewhere.

Percy entered the kitchen, brushing off his shoes on the muddy rag rug his mother had laid down to keep her floor clean. Molly burst into tears at the sight of him. "Oh, Percy, did you see Ginny?"

Percy leaned down and hugged her. "I did, Mum. She's fine. A little shook up, but all right." He glared at Severus. "What did you tell her?"

"The truth." The horrible, painful truth that no mother should have to hear. Severus sighed and stood, grabbing his bag. He left the kitchen and tender mother-son moment behind him.

He went to his room first and put away his things, delaying the inevitable for a little longer. When all of things were put away and the room was as tidy as he could get it, Severus gave up. Closing his door softly behind him, Severus walked down the hallway.

He walked towards the office with trepidation. Severus knew he couldn't keep it from happening, but he could stall for a just a bit.

At last, he could wait no longer. He stood before the door for only a second before he opened it. Strangely, the man was not alone in his office, as Severus had expected. The pastor, a large man named Nott, stood by the window with his arms crossed.

When Rede looked up at his from his seat at the desk, Severus lowered his eyes to the floor. "Mrs. Weasley said you wished to see me, sir."

Rede stood and approached him. "I'm very disappointed in you, Severus." He tsked lightly as he passed Severus and insinuated himself between Severus and the door.

"Sir?" asked Severus, wondering what he had done that could involve the pastor.

Mr. Nott grinned at him from the window. The muscles in his arms corded as he crossed his arms. "Don't even try to hide it. You've been caught out. You've indulged sins of the worst kind."

Severus wanted to run. Now he knew what was going on. Rede was very upset, and Severus would be punished. The door was blocked, and he'd never make it past Mr. Nott to the far window. He tried to bluff his way out. "I do not know what you mean, sir. I am not perfect, but I don't believe I have committed any grievous sins."

"Thou shalt not lie!" Nott barked out.

Rede crossed his arms. "I thought that Fred Weasley would serve as a message, that those who sin face eternal death. Imagine my surprise when I came upon two men practicing sodomy in the barn during a visit to Lord Shrieking's Manor. I did not see both men's faces, but I saw yours, that night."

Severus's hands began to shake. Rede had one weakness—he could not outright lie for any reason. He knew how to twist the truth though. He had taken Neville and Cedric's story and thrown in the mention of having seen Severus's face "that night." Anyone would take that to mean that Rede had caught him in the act, and Rede had not told any lies. He had simply occluded some facts.

"That was not me. I was in the manor playing the violin at that—"

Mr. Nott burst into motion, grabbing Severus by the throat and pushing him backwards until he slammed against a wall. "Thou shalt not tell lies," he growled.

Mr. Nott's hand was tight. Small black dots began to appear in Severus's vision. He couldn't breathe.

Rede laughed from the door. "Don't kill him." The hand loosened and Severus gasped for breath. "You could suffocate him just a bit though." It tightened. "After all, it will be much easier to take away his ability to tell lies if he is unconscious." Severus struggled for air, but found none. He blacked out.

* * *

Severus woke in a darkened room to screeching notes played on a violin. His throat ached deeply, and he was lying naked and prone.

The notes stopped when Severus tried to sit up. His throat felt like it had been ripped open. He was afraid that if he spoke, it would burn like nothing he'd felt before. His limbs felt weak, and he could not push himself up.

Rede loomed over him then, Severus's violin and bow in his hands. "Good. You've woken just in time."

_For what?_ Severus wondered. His answer came a moment later when Rede laid the violin on the bed. He held the bow in both hands for a moment before snapping it in half.

Severus cringed. The bow had been his mother's, just like the violin, though he had replaced the bowstrings many times. It hurt to watch Rede throw it cavalierly into a corner.

Then he picked up the violin, and Severus's eyes widened. _No!_ he tried to scream. Pain sliced through his throat, but no sound emerged. He struggled to move, to grab the violin, but his movements were sluggish.

Rede smirked down at him and tossed the violin to the floor. It made a small cracking sound. Rede seemed unsatisfied with the damage he had wrought. He picked his foot up and stomped on the violin, crunching it.

Severus closed his eyes and stopped his struggles. Remus had left him, his parents were dead, and his connection to his music was lying smashed on the floor, though Severus could not see it. There was no reason to struggle anymore.

Rede climbed onto the bed a moment later. "The pastor had meted out his punishment. It is time for me to give you mine," said Rede. He remained almost entirely clothed, opening his trousers to pull himself out.

Rede slathered on some oil, for his comfort, not Severus's, and took him harshly. Severus wanted to retreat into the music as he usually did, but with the loss of his violin, it felt as though his safe place had been destroyed. There was no music left within the broken man. He lay still as Rede took him viciously, ripping him open inside.

"I know what you were doing with Lord Shrieking. You went to bed with him," said Rede.

Severus didn't bother answering him. His whole body felt abused, the pain radiating from deep within him.

"I watched him watching you at those balls. You must have been a good whore for him. I've never seen a man so enraptured." Rede pulled out and tucked himself away, buttoning his trousers. He shoved Severus until he rolled over onto his stomach, and then he moved away from the bed. Severus hoped he would leave.

He wasn't that lucky. Before Severus knew what was happening, a horsewhip whip slashed through the air and sliced across his lower back. Severus arched away from the whip and tried to cry out when the pain inside of him intensified. No sound came from his throat, but it felt as though his neck had been ripped open by a wolf.

The whip came down, again and again, raining blows on Severus's back, buttocks, and upper legs. It came at random moments, ripping open the skin. Severus wanted to move, to escape, but the pain held him motionless.

He opened his mouth in a silent scream, and Rede chuckled. "Have you figured it out yet?" Severus could not voice a response. "Poor man. You'll never talk again."

_Why?_ Severus wanted to ask.

"Did you know that Mr. Nott was in training to become a doctor before he became a pastor? Just before he changed professions, he learned how to slice vocal cords without killing the patient."

A clunk told Severus that Rede had dropped the whip onto the floor. He stood next to the bed for a moment before he took Severus's left hand in his own. "You do know that you are mine, don't you?" Severus shook his head minutely, since he couldn't scream, not like he wanted to. Even that small movement enflamed his wounds. "And yet you slept with that baron. Indeed, I think you enjoyed sleeping with him. You liked being his slut."

Severus shook his head. It wasn't like that. It had never been like that. Remus cared about him.

"I know you did. Did you know that your emotions have always shown in your music? When you are broken, your music is sad and halting. But when you are happy, your fingers dance over the neck of the violin. You've never played as beautifully for me as you did at his balls. Why is that?"

Severus whimpered and then hated himself for it, even though he hadn't made a sound. He didn't want Rede to have this power over him. He didn't want to be so weak.

"No matter. After today, you will be mine. You will play for no one." Rede pressed the palm of his hand against Severus's fingers and began to push them backwards. Severus tried to scream, but no matter how hard he breathed, nothing came from his throat but puffs of air. "That's right. You cannot speak. You will not be able to play. You will be mine, forever." He pushed harder on Severus's fingers.

Rede was going to kill him. With a sigh of relief, Severus felt his vision grow dark. His finger bones began to crack as the pressure on them grew. With a sudden crunch, his fingers broke and Severus began to welcome death. The pain pulled him into blackness.


	7. The Engagement

Remus stepped out of the carriage, happy to be home. He had again rushed through his visits with Bishop Dumbledore and Dame McGonagall for he was anxious to return to Shrieking Manor and Severus.

He left the driver to unload his baggage and made his way up the front steps to the porch faster than he ever had before. A smile on his face, he sedately opened the front door. Noise greeted him from the parlour, music. He headed towards it.

Remus was ever mindful of appearances, so he took his time walking towards the parlour. Each step filled him with dread as he heard the music more clearly.

It was not the notes of a violin that danced through the air. It was merely a piano, and the song was one of Draco's favourites.

Remus slumped against the wall outside of the room. His smile was gone, long since replaced by a frown. If Draco had returned, then Severus was gone. Remus had returned before the end of the ball season as he promised, hoping that Rede would wait that long to take Severus back, but he should have known better. He should have said his goodbyes to Severus before he left. Their parting felt unfinished now.

Remus wished he hadn't left, but he knew that would have had even worse repercussions. It would have put the entire estate at risk, and if anyone had learned his secret...

It wasn't worth thinking about. Remus pulled himself upright and straightened his waistcoat. He would see Severus again, someday. Perhaps Rede would be willing to trade musicians again during the next ball season. Miss Rede had not found a marriage partner this season, and as time passed, Rede would probably become ever more desperate to make connections for her among the peerage, since he was but a baronet and hardly above the commoners.

Taking a deep breath, Remus felt much better. He would miss Severus, but the next ball season was only eight months away. They would be together again then, and if Severus wished it, Remus would purchase Severus's debt from Rede and install him in Shrieking Manor. Draco had been considering attending university anyway, so he would soon in need of a new house musician.

Thinking of Draco reminded him that the boy had returned from Rede's estate. He opened the door, hoping to learn more about Draco's experience with Rede. The man was rumoured to be a hard taskmaster. He wondered how Severus's homecoming had gone.

Draco looked up at him when Remus entered the room. His fingers continued to fly across the keys as he nodded at Remus. "Good day, my lord."

Remus strode to the piano and laid a hand on Draco's shoulder. Peeking at his music, Remus noted he was playing a piece by Mozart. "It is nice to see you, Draco. Everyone missed your beautiful music while you were away."

The boy faltered in his playing and came to a stop. He shuddered beneath Remus's hand. "I... doubt that, my lord. Though I have not heard him play, Mr. Snape is said to be an exquisite musician. I'm sure he kept you well entertained."

Wondering if the boy was jealous, Remus tried to reassure him. "Mr. Snape is indeed quite talented, but all of his talents lie in the violin. I appreciate that you are skilled with more than one instrument."

Draco bowed his head. "Thank you."

Remus patted him on the shoulder and then finally withdrew his hand. "Play another piece for me. Did you learn anything new while you were at Rede's estate?"

"I learned many new things, but none were songs for the piano," said Draco. The look on his face was rather odd. He seemed almost depressed.

Settling himself into a chair, Remus waved his hand to shrug off the idea. "That's fine. Continue the piece you were playing before then."

Draco nodded and poised his hands over the keys. He held them there for a moment and then dropped them to his lap. "Lord Shrieking?"

"Yes, Draco?"

Draco's hands clenched and unclenched in his lap. "If you were to learn something about someone you trusted that would break your trust in them completely, what would you do?" His voice wavered a little.

Remus wondered who had upset the boy so badly. "There is very little that will break my trust in anyone. If they have broken it, I find that if I give them back even a tiny bit of my trust they will not break it again. Everyone deserves a second chance, after all." Hopefully, that would help Draco deal with this person.

Draco looked up at him with hope in his eyes. "Really?"

"Yes," said Remus. "After all, almost everything is forgivable, short of murder."

Draco's face was expressionless. Was he upset? "Of course, my lord, everything short of murder."

Before Remus could enquire further into Draco's questioning, Draco began playing. Remus shrugged off his discomfort with the conversation, wishing he had been able to better soothe Draco's worries. He closed his eyes and rested his head on the back of his chair. Draco segued into a simple lullaby, and Remus let himself drift off. His trip had exhausted him, and he slept deeply, dreaming of Severus.

* * *

Though Remus thought of Severus daily, it was over two months before he found a reason to contact Rede about him. He hated not being able to talk to Severus, listen to his music, or just know how he was doing. The months had been long, and his visits to Bishop Dumbledore had been more excruciating than normal.

But early one morning, Remus was given a reason to call Severus back to Shrieking Manor. It was just past nine in the morning when Lucius escorted Sirius into Remus's library. Sirius was visibly drunk even at that early hour.

Sirius stumbled against Lucius, and the man shook his head in disgust as he stood Sirius upright. Remus wanted to shake his head too, but he instead motioned to the chair nearest his.

"Good morning, Sirius. Do have a seat." Sirius flopped into it and Remus grimaced. "Thank you, Malfoy."

Lucius gave a slight bow and escaped. Oh, how Remus wished he could leave too. Sirius was grumbling under his breath and glaring at thin air at that point.

"You look a bit upset," said Remus. He found that simple statements were received better than direct questions when Sirius was in this state.

Sirius growled. "I'm more not 'a bit upset'. I'm bloody steaming mad. My mother's finalised my engagement."

Biting back a grin, Remus said, "I take it you don't want congratulations."

"The wedding's set for December!" Sirius moaned. "In four months, I'll be stuck with Bertha Jorkins for the rest of my life." He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. He propped his head up on his hands and pouted. "I don't want to marry the hag. She's a scatterbrained spinster that no one else wants. Why can't I marry a pretty, young girl?"

Remus supposed Sirius's mother had picked Miss Jorkins because the girl was easily persuaded, just as Sirius was. Though she was the Dowager Lady Grimmauld and thus had no legal control over the entitled part of the estate, she ran it as though she were the current Baroness. Remus didn't understand why Sirius let her control him.

"You don't have to marry," said Remus. "You were granted the title of Baron Grimmauld at your father's death, whether she liked it or not. Grimmauld was entitled to you as well, so you'll always have a place to live."

Sirius pouted harder. "I don't want that nasty old house. I can't do anything to it without money either, and all of that was willed to my mother." His petulant attitude dropped away, and he looked a bit panicked. "I need the money, Remus. In prison, if you didn't have money, you had nothing. Ten years, ten years I ate mostly bread and gruel. If I had had money, I could have bribed the guards for better food." His face suddenly looked gaunt; his eyes, haunted. "I can't go back to that, Remus. I just can't."

Remus sighed and reached out to clasp one of Sirius's hands. The boy he once loved had been destroyed. Prison had taken away his fight. If he had had some hope for freedom or retribution while he was imprisoned, perhaps he would have still had the courageous recklessness of his teenage years.

"I will always support you," promised Remus. "You don't have to go through with this."

Sirius shook his head, the lost look in his eyes retreating. "I need to have money of my own. Mother won't give me all of the money, but she's promised thousands of pounds for a wedding gift. I need to have control of my own life." He seemed almost sober when he said, "I can't spend the rest of my life living in fear of not having money."

Remus understood. If he could escape his own demons, he would. Instead, he would try to help Sirius conquer his fears. "Well then, I'll do my best to support you and your new wife." He ignored Sirius's groan. "Let me be the first to throw you an engagement party."

Sirius perked up. "A party? With alcohol? And pretty girls?"

"Exactly," said Remus. Of course, the party would require entertainment—like a musician—and Remus knew just the violinist for the job...

* * *

Remus wasted no time. He visited Rede's house the next day, anxious to see Severus again. Mrs. Longbottom and Lucius had worked with him to plan the party the previous evening, and they had decided to hold it in ten days. It gave them just enough time to ready the house and prepare a meal. Remus cared little about the party though.

Harry had hardly brought the carriage to a stop when Remus climbed out of it. He took a deep breath, reminding himself that he needed to maintain appearances, and strode to the door. He knocked loudly and smiled at the butler when he opened the door.

"Good day, sir. I'm here to see Sir Thomas. He isn't expecting me, I'm afraid." Remus stepped inside of the door when the butler opened it. "My calling card." He presented the card to the man, who scanned it and bowed.

"Please wait here, my lord," said the butler.

Remus waited patiently, glancing around the entryway. It was overly ornate, and it was obvious that a lot of money had been spent on the gaudy furnishings. Rede had made his money in the British East Indian Company, though he had simply been an investor and not an active participant. He had withdrawn from the company before the revolt occurred and had escaped with most of his accrued riches.

The gilt mirrors and plush carpets were lovely, but not to Remus's taste. He wrinkled his nose at himself in the mirror and laughed. He felt like he was on top of the world. He'd see Severus soon, and hopefully Remus would be able to convince Rede to let Severus stay at Shrieking Manor for a little while after the engagement party—so that he could play at a few small dinner parties, of course. Not because Remus wanted to tie Severus to his bed and ravish him.

At last the butler returned, and Remus followed him to Rede's office. Rede stood as he entered and nodded. "Good day, Lord Shrieking. How are you?"

Remus chafed, not wanting to waste time on small talk, but he replied in the same thread. "I am well, and you?"

Rede shrugged, "As good as can be expected, I suppose. What can I do to help you?" He sneered at the word "help", but Remus ignored it.

"I've come to inquire about hiring Mr. Snape again, for an engagement party I'm hosting for my friend." Remus bit back all of the emotions that wanted to come flooding out of him and gave Rede a sedate smile.

Rede winced. "I'm afraid that's quite impossible."

Remus's smile fell. "Why?"

"I'm afraid that the pastor learned of his perverted nature. He'd been cavorting with men." Rede shook his head slowly. "Mr. Snape... well, he's buried in the estate plot out back."

Remus's chest tightened and his throat clenched. "He's dead?" He couldn't believe it. Severus couldn't be dead. Remus didn't want to think about it.

Rede just continued shaking his head. "It's sad what happens to those who throw their sins in the face of God."

Remus took a deep shuddering breath and bowed at Rede. "I have no further reason to trouble you then. Thank you for your time. I'll be on my way."

He didn't hear Rede's reply. He left the room without looking back, his steps growing faster and faster as he returned to the front door. He waved the butler off, pulling the door open and shutting it forcefully behind him. Heart racing, he began walking around the side of the house. He'd seen the mausoleum of the Rede family plot before, and he headed in that direction.

Harry raced over from his place by the carriage to intercept him. "Master Lupin, where are you going?" His shorter stride made it difficult for him to keep up with Remus and he began running. "What's wrong?"

Remus swallowed hard. "Severus is dead." He didn't want to say the words or even think them. It made his death feel too real.

Harry froze and fell behind, but Remus couldn't wait for him to catch up. The mausoleum was in view.

He entered the small burial plot. The majority of those buried there would be the Rede family, who had lived on the estate for many years. They were the ones inside of the mausoleum though. Outside were the servants' headstones.

They were closely grouped around the mausoleum and more spread apart further away. Remus knew the more recent graves would be farther out. He walked along the edge of the plot, looking at all of the stones. Most were simple and bore only a name. The lower classes didn't usually keep track of birthdates, though it was becoming more common for them to do so.

It seemed as though Remus had circled the entire plot when he finally stumbled on single small stone. The stone looked weatherworn and the dirt around it was not freshly turned, as he expected. There was only one name on the stone—Snape.

Remus sank to the ground next to the stone and let his sorrow pour out of him. Appearances no longer mattered. Severus was dead, long dead by the looks of the grave, and Remus had failed him, just as he had failed his mother, just as he had failed Lily and James.

* * *

"Master Lupin, you need to take better care of yourself." Draco stood next to Remus's desk, a concerned look on his face. "It's been a month since you found out. Mr. Snape... he wouldn't want you to live like this."

"You can't say that. You never even met Severus!" snapped Remus.

Draco leaned forward and snatched away Remus's almost empty bottle of rum. "My lord, truthfully, would he want you to mourn him to your own death by alcohol?"

Remus couldn't answer that. He and Severus had never discussed anything like that. They had had so little time together, and Remus had taken it for granted.

"Besides," said Draco, "you're turning into a bigger drunkard than Baron Grimmauld."

Draco's look of disgust shamed Remus. He had once been appalled by Sirius's drinking habits. It embarrassed Remus that others thought he had fallen to that level.

"I... thank you. I think maybe you are right. Severus would not expect me to mourn like this," said Remus. Severus had seemed to expect very little from anyone. Remus wondered what it was that had made the man feel as though he could trust so few.

Draco nodded. "Naturally, I'm right." He paused to look at the bottle in his hand. "And that, of course, means you won't fire me for speaking to you so bluntly."

Remus snickered, the alcohol in his blood stream making him feel suddenly amused. "Your job is safe."

Draco's sigh of relief was just audible. "Then, my lord, I will continue speaking my mind. I believe you need to tell someone what you learned of his death."

Remus sighed. He didn't want to talk about it. Keeping his secret for so long had made it difficult for him to open up about anything. "I know very little," he said, hoping to end the conversation.

Draco set aside the rum bottle and perched himself on the edge of Remus's desk. "You know enough. Go on." He frowned. "What did Sir Thomas say?"

Remus buried his face in his hands. "Rede told me that the pastor learned that Severus had had relations with men. I don't know what men or how the pastor found out. He didn't even say how Severus died or how the pastor chose to execute him."

Draco cocked his head to the side. "But he never actually said Mr. Snape was dead, did he?"

Remus snorted. "He said Mr. Snape was buried in the Rede estate's plot. I saw the gravestone myself. All it said was the name 'Snape'. They couldn't even write his first name on it!" Remus was beginning to babble, likely due to the alcohol. He forced himself to go back to Draco's question. "I'm quite sure that meant 'He's dead.'"

"Or, it could mean that the pastor found out and Severus ran away, and Sir Thomas doesn't want anyone to know."

Remus stared at Draco for a moment. "What?"

Draco swung his legs away from the desk. "In the three months I spent at the Rede estate, I learned a lot about the master. He's bad at lying, but he is good at carefully concealing the truth. The pastor is a good friend of his, and the both appear equally hateful of homosexuality. If Severus had escaped the punishment they planned, they wouldn't want anyone to know."

Remus wanted to let himself hope. He wanted to believe there was a chance that Severus was alive. If he let himself imagine this though, he was risking losing Severus all over again when he learned he was truly dead.

Draco continued speaking. "Sir Thomas is a master manipulator. He knows how to uncover his enemy's weaknesses. Everyone knows how jealous he is of your money and social standing. If he learned, somehow, of your feelings for Mr. Snape, he would take advantage of them."

Remus closed his eyes and thought. Did he dare risk losing Severus again for the mere possibility of finding him? It was hardly worth considering.

He opened his eyes and began searching through his desk drawers. "If there is any chance that Severus is alive, I will find him. The private investigators I worked with to free Sirius are still in business. I'll hire them to search for him."

Draco hopped off the desk. "I'm certain that they will find him. He's probably even still nearby."

Remus grinned for the first time in a month when he found the paper bearing the investigators' address. "I'll find him, no matter where he is."


	8. The Secret

The lucid moments were few and far between. Rede kept Severus in locked in the darkened room at all times, sending Percy with food and water twice a day. Severus had lost track of the days quickly, and now his life was just a never-ending cycle of sleeping and being in pain.

Mostly, he slept. It was easy to imagine things were different in his dreams. He dreamed of his mother, alive again. He imagined what his life would be like if he could have stayed with Remus. He wished, during his nightmares, that he had died.

The pain was excruciating. Rede continued to take him almost daily, as far as Severus could tell without being able to see the sun or a clock. The welts on his back healed slowly, and they opened up every time he moved. His hand ached endlessly, the bones healing badly. Severus didn't imagine he'd ever be able to use it again.

The first two weeks were clear in Severus's mind: pain, little food, endless night. Then infection settled into his wounds, and fever ravaged his body. Hallucinations overtook his mind. It seemed as though years passed while he lay there.

At one point, he thought he felt his mother wiping his brow with a cool cloth. At another, he was certain that the walls would close in on him, burying him alive. Through it all, he was voiceless. He had discovered that he could make a few noises, grunts and whistles mostly, without his vocal cords, but nothing close to words was possible.

The infection progressed, and his world narrowed. There were only a few moments a day when he knew what was going on around him. Usually, he was alone during those moments.

It surprised him when he surfaced from the depths of his illness one day and heard voices.

"That's Mr. Snape?" The voice was unrecognizable, a figment of his imagination.

Percy answered the voice anyway. "It is. The fever started two months ago. We've tried to help him heal, but Rede won't let us send for the doctor. There's only so much you can do with alcohol to dull the pain and clean the wounds."

The voice sighed. "I don't know what to do."

"Malfoy, please, tell Lord Shrieking," Percy said.

Severus recognised those names. Draco Malfoy was a musician. Lord Shrieking was his master, was Remus. Severus wished Remus were there to save him, like a knight on a white steed. He could be the prince and battle Rede, the dragon guarding the keep.

The blackness began to encroach, and Severus smirked. He could be the sleeping princess.

Draco returned; how much later Severus couldn't tell. This time he was awake when they entered his room. He couldn't move for the pain and illness, and he couldn't speak, so all he could do was listen to them discuss him.

"Did you tell?" Percy asked.

Draco's voice was terse. "I can't. If Rede found out, he'd tell everyone what my father did. We'd lose our jobs. My mother is sickly. We can't afford that."

Percy slammed something against the wall, probably his hand. "Damn it! I can't afford to tell either. Half of my family works for the bastard. What is he holding over your head that is keeping you from telling?"

"My father was his business partner, years ago," said Draco. "During the East India revolt, my father passed on information to the Indian's in return for money. He lost the money in some bad investments, and the information he sold cost people their lives. He'd end up in jail if people found out. Master Lupin would see to it—many of his family members and friends were hurt in the revolt."

Severus didn't want to believe it, but he could. Lucius Malfoy had been a good servant to Remus, but Severus had not seen much of the man. He had seemed the type to do anything to achieve his ambitions. Severus wondered if Remus knew that such a man was living in his house.

Percy sighed. "I understand. I hate to see him like this. He's a good man, if a grouchy one."

Severus smirked, glad to know he had made that impression on people.

Malfoy said, "I've spoken with Master Lupin. He's been drowning himself in alcohol, but I think I broke him out of his mood. I insinuated that Mr. Snape was probably still alive, and he's begun searching for him with private investigators."

It was just as Severus had imagined last time. Remus would be his knight in shining armour. It wasn't the most fitting image for the man, and it was horribly sappy, but Severus was half-dead. He deserved the chance to be a bit romantic, he rather thought.

Thankfully, no one else would ever have to learn of his imaginings.

Percy approached the bed and knelt next to it. Severus could just see him from the corner of his eye, but Percy didn't notice he was awake. Then Percy ducked his head lower, disappearing under the edge of the bed.

When he emerged, Severus's violin was in his hands. Severus was crushed to see how badly mangled it was. He had given it up for good before, but he hadn't seen it. Only the neck of the violin was intact. The strings held part of the body to the neck, but the rest was in small pieces.

"I saved this," said Percy. "I don't know if it can be fixed."

Severus knew it couldn't be, and the musician in Draco seemed to agree.

"I think it is worthless at this point," said Draco.

Percy held it out to Malfoy. "Take it to Lord Shrieking anyway. Please, tell him about Rede. I... I'm not at all courageous. I can't risk losing everything. This, at least, will prove to him that you've found Snape."

Draco moved closer, into Severus's field of vision, his hands held in the air. "I'll take it, and save it for when Remus finds him. I can't... I can't tell though."

Percy handed him the pieces. "You must. You'll save his life if you do."

Draco frowned down at the instrument. "I will try."

"Thank you," Percy breathed, and Severus wanted to echo him. "I'll sneak you out now. You mustn't return again. Rede will have your head if you do."

Draco shrugged. "It doesn't matter at this point. I'm damned no matter what I do."

"Come on, Malfoy."

They left and the room was dark and silent once more. Severus expected to lapse back into unconsciousness then, but he lay in the dark thinking for hours. If only Malfoy would tell. If only Remus would save him. If only he were safe.

If only...

* * *

Severus didn't realise he was being rescued until after the fact. His hallucinations created an image of Remus in purple armour rescuing him from the depths of a cave. Later, he was told that Remus had come to remove him from the room, while police officers arrested Rede for a number of crimes that Remus's private investigators had uncovered. The purple armour had apparently been a purple jacket in real life.

He was taken to Shrieking Manor and Remus hired doctors to tend to his every need. They quickly cleaned his wounds and began treatments to draw the infections out. One doctor even dosed him up with enough laudanum to knock out a horse and broke all of his fingers again. They ached terribly when Severus awoke afterwards, but they had been properly set and his fingers would hopefully be straight and useable when they healed.

Rede's inability to lie had finally brought him down. Twisting the truth could only hide so many things. He had been bribing Nott to do his bidding for years, since before Fred Weasley's murder. Nott was thus indicted for accepting the bribes and committing heinous acts in the name of lies.

Rede's involvement in the Indian revolt had become known as well. Lucius Malfoy had been passing on information, but he had not known it at the time. Rede had been the real traitor, passing information on the Riddle in the guise of letters from their father, the man who had abandoned Riddle. Severus wasn't sure which of the half-brothers had been blackmailing the other, but once the revolt ended, the two had ended their contact.

Thus, Draco and Lucius kept their jobs. Remus realised that Lucius had not done it on purpose and forgave him, something Severus admired him for greatly. The man truly believed that everyone deserved a second chance. He even offered Draco the opportunity to go to university in a year, which Draco gratefully accepted.

The Weasleys kept their jobs too. Mrs. Rede took over the estate in her husband's stead, and Ginny reported that she treated the servants better than Rede ever had. She even helped Percy secure a well-paying job as an assistant to a member of the Parliament. He spent his days researching proper pot thicknesses and seemed happy to be doing so. Severus had always thought the boy a bit touched in the head; this simply proved it.

It was Ginny who took care of Severus during his illness, and thus it was from her that he learned all of these things. The girl delighted in gossiping, it seemed, even when her conversation partner was mute. She was a sweet girl though, and she cared for him well: administering his medicine at the times proscribed, feeding him before he regained the strength to feed himself, and keeping him and his bed clothing clean.

When Severus was almost well, most of his wounds fully closed and all of the infections cleared up, she began sitting him up in his bed and talking to him for hours at a time. With nothing else to do but stare at the wall, Severus found himself becoming interested in her monologues.

"And, oh my goodness, I have the most wonderful news! I can't believe I almost forgot to tell you. Harry asked me to marry him last night!" Ginny gushed one morning.

Severus quirked an eyebrow at her and pointed to her stomach. It was obviously round with child.

"Oh, no, it's not because of the baby," Ginny explained. "It's in spite of the baby."

He titled his head in confusion and she took it as a signal to continue.

"You remember when I was—" she faltered "—when I was raped, right?"

Severus nodded. The baby had come from that?

"Well, it was Sir Thomas Rede who did it. He wanted information about you and Master Lupin. He also wanted to know if Master Lupin would be leaving soon, I assume so that he could retrieve you without interference. I'm ashamed to say I told him everything. He threatened to fire my family if I told anyone, so I kept quiet until Draco came forward with the information about where you were."

Severus wanted to growl, but the air emerged as an angry puff instead. He settled for frowning.

"Oh, don't fret. Once the baby's born, I'll be able to prove it was him, and then he'll be punished for that too." Her eyes sparkled merrily. "I do hope the baby looks like him. I hear that a potential punishment for rape is castration."

Severus snorted, one of the few sounds he could still make. It wasn't a quite laugh, but he had never been much for laughing anyway.

"Anyway, Harry's stuck by my side this whole time. He's been a true hero to me. Even though I've been sullied, he's willing to have me as his bride, and he doesn't want me to abort the baby because of the risk to me." Her smile was lovesick. "So, my mother has offered the raise the baby." She looked down at her lap, half of which was hidden beneath her stomach. "I... I don't think I could ever truly love it for itself."

She seemed to know her feelings well. Perhaps she was not the airheaded twit she seemed to be when she was gossiping or throwing herself at Harry.

"Mrs. Rede believes that her husband did it, and she's willing to offer the baby financial support, though she won't acknowledge it as an heir. My mum will take good care of it too. She's good at loving people no matter where they come from, and Harry and I will be better as an aunt and uncle than as parents."

Molly Weasley would smother the child of an axe murderer with affection. Hell, if she was in a good enough mood, she'd probably set tea for the murderer too.

"Harry's been wonderful about this, and we've set the date for the wedding in May, so that I'll have time to get over the birth and plan everything." She squealed. "I can't wait!"

Severus rolled his eyes. Learning about Rede's further punishments was interesting. Listening to her gush over Harry wasn't. The boy was all right, Severus supposed, but he still hadn't forgiven him for the "greasy git" comment he made the first time they met.

Ginny began enumerating all of Harry's good points, but Severus ignored her. He laid his head on one of his hands, the motion he and Ginny had worked out would mean 'sleep' or 'lay down', and she pushed herself up out of her chair and scurried over to settle him into bed.

Severus nodded to thank her and then closed his eyes. She didn't leave until he had evened out his breathing, and he knew she'd return in seconds if he rang the bell that was kept on his bedside table.

He really was tired. Spending more than three months in bed had weakened his muscles, and the fever had destroyed them even more. He could move his arms and legs now, after a month and a half at Remus's manor, but it took a lot of energy, and he usually only moved for important reasons, like using the toilet or snuggling with Remus.

Severus closed his eyes and wished Remus was at his side then. It was almost the full moon though, and Remus had left yet again. Severus didn't mind though. He knew Remus didn't want to go—the hour he had spent apologizing had made that clear. Remus had also promised to tell Severus the secret of his disappearances as soon as Severus was well. No one else in the manor had any idea why Remus left, and it touched Severus that Remus was willing to tell him.

He would trust Remus to return and keep his promise.

* * *

It was hard to force people to do things when they were stronger than you and you could not speak. Severus spent two months glaring at Remus, but he didn't seem to get the message. Finally, Severus had sat down and written a long letter that included a fair number of curse words. The one good thing Rede had done for him was give him an education.

If he had not been able to write, Severus was afraid he would never have convinced Remus to tell his secret.

As it was, Remus still had yet to explain, and it was mid-February. He had agreed to take Severus with him on his monthly trip though.

They visited Dame McGonagall first, and Severus was quite amused by the lady. Her dry wit was vastly preferable to Bishop Albus Dumbledore's bumbling ways, Severus soon discovered, though Remus seemed to adore them both equally.

It was the evening of the full moon when they arrived at Bishop Dumbledore's church. They had already visited him at the parsonage, and he had plied them with tea and baked goods. Remus disembarked from the hired carriage slowly. Severus beat him to the ground, though his muscles were still weak and walking was a task.

Rolling his eyes, Severus pulled Remus towards the church by his coat sleeve, anxious to see what secrets could be held inside.

The church was full of pews and was very sparsely decorated. It looked like any other church Severus had visited. He frowned.

Remus sighed and trudged up the centre aisle. "The secret isn't in the church, Severus. It's in me." He sat in the pew nearest the front and stared at the cross that hung near it.

Severus followed and took a seat next to him. Laying a hand on Remus's thigh, he squeezed it to urge him on.

"When the revolt took place, we were given a small amount of warning from an informant. We knew that James, my friend, and Lily, his wife, were to be targeted by Riddle himself. I tried to help protect them, but I was attacked and injured by one of Riddle's followers." Remus took a shuddering breath. "It was the day of the full moon, and he bit me."

Severus blinked. He bit Remus? Why would you bite someone?

"He was a werewolf."

Well. That was a good reason, he supposed. It couldn't be the real reason though. Werewolves were things of stories, scary creatures that parents made up to scare children into staying in bed.

"I became one too, as werewolf saliva is infective for twenty-four hours before and after the full moon."

Severus didn't know what Remus's secret was, but it had to be something terrible if he was hiding it beneath such a stupid lie. He shook his head and frowned, trying to express his displeasure at being lied to.

Remus frowned back at him. "It's the truth. I know it sounds insane, but it is. We didn't know about it at the time. I spent my first full moon after the attack in India, and it took four men to lock me in my room after I transformed into a raging wolf. My mother, still in mourning for her husband, took it upon herself to try to cure me. She hunted down every shaman she could find, but none knew how to fix me. A few knew how to alleviate the symptoms though. They claimed that being in a holy place—" he gestured around the church "—would let me keep mind, though I would still transform."

"My mother didn't believe them, and she simply attempted to lock me in my room again during the full moon. Without anyone to attack, I began attacking myself, and when she came to see me the next morning, I was a man again, but I had ripped huge gashes in my body and bitten myself. She was frightened and forced me to spend the next full moon in a temple. It worked. I kept my human mind even though I grew a wolf's body."

He stood and paced away from Severus. "That is why I come here every month. Bishop Dumbledore was a friend of my mother's and he agreed to keep my secret after we returned from India." He stopped with his back to Severus. "It's crazy. You think I'm mad, I'm sure. I'd like you to stay with me tonight though. The moon should rise in half an hour. Stay, if you can handle it. Otherwise, Bishop Dumbledore said you could sleep in the parsonage."

Severus wasn't sure what to think. The whole idea of werewolves was incredible. India was still a wild country though. The undeveloped nations were said to still practice pagan magic. It could be possible, but it was entirely not probable.

He sat deliberating for a while, too long, in fact. Remus took his staying seated to mean he was staying and launched himself at Severus. "Thank God, thank God. I thought you'd leave. I thought you'd hate me. Oh, thank God."

He twined his arms around Severus and kissed him deeply. Severus responded, thoughts of werewolves and India pushed from his mind by passion. Half an hour passed quickly, and both men were panting when Remus finally drew away.

"It's almost time. If you want to leave, I understand."

Severus shook his head. He wasn't sure quite was he was getting himself into, but he felt the need to be there for Remus.

Remus pressed on last kiss to his lips and stepped away. He laid down on an open area of the floor. Smiling depreciatively, he said, "It's easier if I transform like this."

Severus nodded, and then the conversation ended. It seemed there was nothing to do but wait.

In a few minutes, Remus let out a muffled cry and doubled in on himself. Before Severus could stand and go to his side to see what was wrong, Remus's clothing split, and he began to grow fur. The muscles rippled beneath his furred skin, and his whole body grew, then shrank, then grew. At last, he stretched out on the floor, entirely a wolf, and let out a howl.

Severus jammed his fist into his mouth, trying to muffle a cry that couldn't even be heard. Remus was a werewolf, a monster! The wolf climbed up onto its feet and shook itself. It was huge. Severus pressed himself against the back of the pew and watched with wide eyes as it approached.

It's teeth glittered in the moonlight, and Severus closed his eyes. He had faced death many times in his life. This felt like it might finally be the end.

Instead of huge jaws clamping down on his throat, a shaggy head was propped in his lap. He opened his eyes to find the wolf starring at him. It sat at Severus's feet, it's tail wagging back and forth slowly.

Severus tentatively stretched out a hand and touched the head. The wolf pressed into his hand, and Severus took a deep breath. This was Remus.

Remus wasn't a monster. He was just in the body of one. He stayed there for a while, gently rubbing Remus's head. Remus reacted like a dog, begging for more petting.

Severus relaxed and his illness caught up with him. He began to yawn and laid down on the pew. Remus lay on the floor next to him, close enough that Severus could bury one hand in his fur. They both fell asleep like that and passed the evening in contentment.

* * *

Severus woke the next morning to kisses from a human Remus, who had dressed himself in a new outfit since his old one had been destroyed. Severus's back ached, and he promised himself that the next month he would bring at least a bedroll to sleep on.

They walked from the church to the parsonage and waited there for their carriage. After saying their goodbyes, they started for home. Severus assumed they were going straight there, and he was surprised when Remus instructed the driver to stop in front of a shop as they were going through a town.

"We're going in here," Remus said. "We won't be long."

"Yes, sir," the driver replied.

Remus hopped out of the carriage and offered Severus a hand down. Severus waved it off, not wishing to look weak in public.

They entered the shop, which smelled of spiced rum and candied pineapples, of all things. The owner, a very large man, stood to greet them. The walls of the shop were covered in instruments, and Severus winced. Since his rescue, Severus had considered buying a new violin, but it just wouldn't feel the same. It wouldn't have belonged to his mother.

"Good day, Lord Shrieking! It's so kind of you to visit! I'm sorry to say that you just missed meeting Miss. Skeeter. She's a lovely woman who's trying to start up a newspaper for women. It'll be nothing more than a gossip rag in the end, but I think she'll make a killing off it!" The fat man laughed and Severus hid a sneer.

Remus let him finish laughing and then offered introductions. "Mr. Slughorn, this is my close friend Severus Snape, a talented violinist. Mr. Snape, this is Horace Slughorn, an expert instrument maker."

Slughorn beamed. "Thank you for your kind words, my lord. It is nice to meet you, Mr. Snape."

Severus nodded.

Slughorn frowned.

Remus rushed to fill the silence. "He's lost his voice from an illness, I'm afraid. He's mute."

Slughorn nodded knowingly. "Of course, of course. However, you know, a musician is never silenced. We speak through our instruments."

Severus thought about what he said. It was true. Severus had always used his music to release his emotions. He longed for a violin again, even a new one. His newly healed fingers itched to dance along the neck.

Remus nodded. "Very true. I'm afraid we are in a bit of a rush though. Is the violin ready?"

"It is!" Slughorn turned and waddled his way to the back of the store. "I'll be just a minute." He disappeared through a door.

Severus took the privacy of the moment to grab Remus's hand and squeeze it. It seemed as though Remus had bought him a violin. He wanted to sing or shout or kiss him. He settled for smiling.

Slughorn returned far too quickly and Severus had to drop Remus's hand. In his hand was a violin, almost perfectly identical to Severus's mother's. He moved to hand it to Remus and Remus shook his head. "It's for him."

Slughorn smiled. "A splendid gift." Severus took it from him gingerly, running his fingers along the edge of the body and over the strings. It was already tuned and sounded beautiful.

"I'm afraid I wasn't able to salvage much of the original though. The bow was a lost cause, as was the body. The neck was in good condition though, aside from a few scuffs, and the chin rest was fine, so I crafted a similar body to attach it to. It was extraordinarily difficult, but I think you'll find that it's almost identical to the broken one."

Severus almost dropped the violin. Eyes wide, he stared at Remus.

"Yes, it's made from your old one," said Remus. "Draco brought it to me as proof that you were alive and I contracted Mr. Slughorn to repair it. I hope it is acceptable."

Severus nodded vigorously. It was bloody perfect. He held it reverently for a moment and hefted it to his shoulder. The fit wasn't quite the same, but it was close.

Slughorn bustled to the back room and returned with a bow in hand. "Do play a song for us, Mr. Snape."

Severus took the bow and ran it across the strings, getting used to the feel of the instrument. He knew exactly which song to play—Mozart's Violin Sonata No. 21, his mother's lullaby.

The notes came slowly at first, his hands clumsy. By the end of the song though, he was playing as though he had never lost his violin. The song was sad, but Severus was happy.

He smiled at Remus, conscious of Slughorn, and wished he could tell Remus how much he appreciated him, loved him even. He launched into a song that Remus had complimented him on after a dinner, letting his love flow through his music.

Remus caught his eyes, and he knew that love was returned. Severus fell into the music, letting himself drift away from the real world. Rede had taken away his words, but Remus had given him a new language.


End file.
